Total Chaos (A.T.O.C. Part Two)

Sick of This Shit

Chapter 17:

After finishing our cigarettes, Slinger went back inside the arena to join up with the rest of his band, but I stayed outside for a few more minutes before I returned backstage.

I did feel slightly calmer than before and I just needed a distraction to keep my mind occupied. Watching the guys perform would do that.

I found Lindsey backstage right where she was before, so I walked over and watched as Gerard was talking to the audience.

"Is everything okay?" Lindsey asked as Gerard talked about an idea for a TV show Mikey had about some rugby team.

I shrugged. "Gena is filling in for me for Avenged's video."

Lindsey's eyebrows shot up and her mouth parted slightly in surprise.

"Damn, that really sucks. I doubt anything is happening, Anna, I mean-"

She paused and her eyebrows furrowed and she leaned in closer to me. I could audibly hear her inhale.

"Why do you smell like smoke?"

I froze, not even thinking that she could detect the cigarette smoke. How could I be so stupid? She would know if I were smoking, since she IS one.

"I, uh, ran into Slinger when I was outside and he was smoking. We talked for a bit, so it must've clung to me," I replied lamely.

She stared at me intensely, to the point where I felt my palms become sweaty.

"I can smell it on your breath," she said loud enough for only me to hear. "And I know that Slinger didn't breathe the smoke into your mouth, so how else did it get there?"

I narrowed my eyes slightly. Why was she so upset by me having a cigarette? It was one. Not one pack, one stick. That's it.

"Yeah, and I can smell it on yours, too," I muttered. "I'll be on the bus."

I moved past her before she could try to question be further. I didn't need her to be all up my ass about having one cigarette. I already had enough to deal with.

I walked back outside, this time without seeing Slinger. Just me and the busses.

I approached the My Chem bus and knocked on the door. The driver opened it and let me inside without asking any questions, thankfully.

I went to my bunk and shoved the curtain aside and crawled in and shut it again, leaving me in darkness. I reached into my pocket and took out my phone and for some reason decided to scroll through my pictures.

I had forgotten how long I had had the phone until I saw the very first picture, which was one of myself and my mother from three years ago. It's funny how close we were three years ago, yet now I barely speak to her. I can't even remember when I talked to her last.

I moved to the next one, which was of my newly painted room, which was also from three years ago. The next ten or so pictures were from that period of my life up until about six months ago, each a rather uneventful or I exciting picture.

But then they started to become fonder memories, starting with the night that I reunited with the Avenged guys, when we were all talking in the main area on their bus, catching up. They all had a few beers and I asked them for a group picture. Jimmy and Brian were making fools of themselves, Johnny was flipping off the camera, Matt bared his teeth and had an arm around Zacky, who was actually smiling at the camera. I couldn't help but smile back.

The next one was a picture of Gerard and Mikey before they went on stage during the beginning of Taste of Chaos. They gave big smiles, but in the background, I could see Brian sticking out his tongue at the camera.