Shades of Grey

Resigned

Lupin’s world was spinning. After twelve long years of hating Sirius so vehemently that he was willing to kill him without a second thought, he’d just found out that it had all been a lie. The hate that filled him was now directed at the miserable, pathetic excuse for a human that Harry- perhaps foolishly- had insisted they spare to save for the dementors. Peter Pettigrew sat stuttering and pleading with Ron and Lupin, who were tied to him to make sure that he wouldn’t escape. Sirius let Snape’s still form fall to the ground- perhaps a bit too hard- before pulling Harry aside. Lupin knew there were many things that needed to be said between the two of him, so he let them go and didn’t remind them that they should get back up to the castle as soon as possible. Ron had a broken leg and Pettigrew would no doubt try to cower his way into escaping. Instead, he held his tongue and kept his wand jammed into Pettigrew’s neck.

How many times over the years had he been crushed by the survivor’s guilt? How many times had he wished that he had confronted Sirius rather than Peter, had taken the blow instead? Only to find out that the man he once would have died for had taken everything from him in one night. After that night, Lupin had nothing. James and Lily were dead, Sirius was locked up in Azkaban, and Peter had, so he thought, died like a martyr. Lupin had sat alone at the Potters’ funeral, wishing that it was he that had died. He had even offered to take Harry, but Dumbledore had insisted that he live with his mother’s relatives. Dumbledore always knew best, after all, and it wasn’t as though Lupin really had the financial stability to raise a child on his own.

Hermione screamed and Lupin felt the all too familiar sensation of a burning in his veins taking over. He turned to see the full moon, peeking out from the clouds as it finally revealed itself. He cursed himself for forgetting his potion, but he knew it was too late now.

~

Aurora ran as fast as she could out of the castle, down to the Whomping Willow, clutching the vial in one hand with her wand in the other. As she neared the group of people, her heart sank. The full moon was appearing from behind the white clouds spotting the dark sky. Lupin was facing the moon, his body growing rigid. She knew it was too late, and she ducked behind a flowering bush, the vial forgotten in her pocket. Though she didn’t want to watch what was happening, she couldn’t look away. She didn’t want to hear his painful moans, didn’t want to watch him transform.

Lupin groaned as he felt every bone and sinew in his body being pulled and stretched to their breaking point. His joints cracked and his body contorted; his moans of agony became growls as his kind face elongated into a terrifying, sharp toothed snout. He felt Sirius trying to restrain him, heard his voice telling him where his heart was, but the sound was muffled and became less and less understandable as he lost the ability of rational thought and the transformation completed.

In a matter of terrifying moments, the man she loved was gone, replaced by a hideous beast. She stared at him...it...in horror, before running back up to the castle.

Her heart was pounding, and each beat hurt. Her legs were sore from running up the hill, but she didn’t dare look back. What would happen to him? Would he be okay, even?

Worries whirled around in her mind and she felt sick. What if he wasn't okay? What if something happened? She couldn't bear going back to her room and sleeping. She didn't want to wait until the morning to find out.

Lupin let out a roar and threw his beastly arms wide, tossing Sirius aside. His long, wolfish back hunched over and he whimpered, looking up at the sound of a voice. He saw a girl's face and he bared his teeth with a sinister snarl, starting towards his prey. Then a smaller beast came and bit his arm and he howled angrily, his vision going red with anger as his wild eyes turned upon his aggressor. He saw a black dog latched onto his arm and grabbed him, lifting him above his head before throwing the dog onto a rock.