thoughts about you.

사랑한다 (I love you)

Last night, I texted you that I missed you.

You told me that you wanted to die.

My heart sank.
Knowing that I wanted to do the same thing, not too long ago.

I told you that I loved you and that I would always be there for you.

For the first time ever, to a man, including my father and brother, I said 'I love you'.

I meant every word.

I didn't say it for you to say it back.

My 'I love you' wasn't a question, requiring you to answer it.

It was a statement of my true feelings.

I just wanted you to know that you weren't alone.
And that I truly loved you.

You responded with a "I miss you too".

I wasn't hurt.

Nor was I disappointed you didn't say it back.

Your response was enough.

---

As many times as I get depressed and have suicidal thoughts, I know, deep down, that I really don't want to die.

I want to live. Spend another day with friends and family. Explore the world. To be loved.

There's so much left to do.

And I want that for him as well.

For anyone suffering with depression.

I'd be devastated if he took his life. I just want him to be happy and know he's loved.

Everyone deserves to be happy, no matter how many mistakes they've made.

That's all.