My "Cleftie"

What Makes You Different, Makes You Beautiful

Evalyn’s lip healed beautifully and she was for the most part healthy. She still had a problem with weight and reflux but not as bad as before. It had nothing to do with her Cleft but it felt like after her lip was repaired everything got better. Evalyn definitely had a healthy appetite and a ton of energy. She was so full of life that it seemed that she knew somehow that she was “fixed”. We continued to have our therapy sessions and they became less frequent due to her progress. When she started saying words it was so cute! She had a soft breathy sounding voice that sounded fragile. It was an obvious ploy to throw people off because once she let down her shy act she would be screeching and yelling like nobody’s business. I always found her shy act amusing.

Time went quickly but my depression seemed to suck me deeper and deeper. I started to think crazy things and all I wanted to do was sleep or read so that I could escape my reality. When I slept I didn’t feel like the world was crushing me and the dreams were where I could be happy and smile again. My books would take me somewhere else and I could get lost in a life that wasn’t mine and where things were easier. I would get mad at Eloy for not being like those unrealistic extremely romantic and emotional guys in my books. I would forget that he wasn’t that type of guy and that I don’t even LIKE that! Someone like that would drive me insane and not challenge me like Eloy does, and boy does Eloy challenge me! He was never the type to let me run all over him and do whatever I said. If he thought something he would tell me and if he didn’t like what I was saying or doing he would fight back instead of letting me have my way. He treated me as an equal and made me raise my own expectations of myself, which is what I have always needed and wanted in my partner/lover.

I gained a lot of weight from eating my feelings. I would go to my comfort foods and then forget to eat for a day or two afterwards. Chips are my weakness! I don’t like sugary foods or bread, just chips. Eloy would try to not buy them when we went grocery shopping but I always ended up sneaking them in at the register knowing that he isn’t the type to cause a scene in the store. I know BAD ANDREA!! But hey! I am weak LOL. I hated how I looked and became more of a hermit never wanting to go anywhere because my clothes didn’t fit right or I was so self conscious but I still would not do anything to fix it. I just kept sinking further down.

Around the end of November I got a lead on a job, and Eloy and I were excited for me to interview. It would get me out of the house and interact with people and hopefully get me out of that horrible funk I was in. I was so excited at the idea of going back to work that I went out and bought clothes for the interview and brushed up my resume. When the day came for my interview I was so excited, nervous, scared, everything that I couldn’t battle the urge to throw up the whole way there. I had not worked in a little over 3 years! As I sat in the car in the parking lot of the offices where I was going to be interviewed I was gripping Eloy’s hand and babbling about how great it would be for us if I got this job. I think I needed it more for my mental health then for anything else.

My interview went great; the moment the questions started I forgot my nerves and was confident in my abilities to do the job. I let them know that I had a daughter with medical issues and that she had an upcoming surgery out of town and would need to take time off before the 6 month probation period was up and that I may need to miss days here and there for doctor’s appointments. They assured me that it would not be a problem and that they were willing to work with me if I got the job. I left more excited and free feeling then I had felt in well over a year. I got the call the following week letting me know that I got the job I just needed to do the standard second interview and back ground checks. I was told I would start in late December but it kept getting pushed back due to the background checks taking so long. I was clean of course it was just very extensive. I got the news that I would be officially starting on Jan 2, 2011. I was through the roof with excitement at finally being able to pull my share and getting out of the house on a daily basis.