The waiting room felt suffocating and I couldn’t take my eyes off the TV monitor that gave updates on surgeries. Time felt as if it slowed down to where minutes were days and hours were months. I paced back and forth and Eloy sat there shaking his leg and trying to find ways to distract himself. He finally got up and went to get us something to eat. I wanted to tell him not to waste his time or money because I was too nervous to eat, but I didn’t. I just nodded and kept pacing. There was another family there waiting for their little boy to get out and I saw the parents sitting there so calmly just laughing and talking as if they were out to lunch. I thought to myself, how can they be that way? Aren’t they concerned or worried? I know everyone deals with stress differently but I just couldn’t help but wonder at their behavior.
When Eloy came back he kept trying to get me to eat and all I could do was drink down the orange juice. My stomach was in extreme knots and even the juice was threatening to come back up. It’s not like I hadn’t done this before but I couldn’t stop freaking out. I remembered that she needed to have ear tubes put in since she was prone to ear infections and that the ENT would be there as well. As the clock slowly moved and I saw that it was almost time for them to finish I noticed that the TV wasn’t changing the status of the surgery and that it still was highlighted in green saying that the doctor was still in surgery. About ten minutes past the time they were supposed to finish a nurse came out and said don’t worry they were having a little harder time closing the lip because the gap was a little bigger than expected and that the doctor wanted to make sure that it was perfect so it was going to take a little while longer but everything is under control and she is doing great.
Of course starting any sentence with “Don’t worry” to a parent completely freaks them out and the rest is usually unheard or jumbled together. It took 2 more times of the nurse telling me that I finally understood what was happening and calmed down enough to comprehend that everything was okay. I guess I need to work on my listening skills huh!? Once I was back in the waiting room I told Eloy and he had the same reaction and I had to repeat it to him as well before he realized that if something bad happened I would have been going crazy instead of talking calmly to him. We had a good laugh at it, but I think it was more of laughing at ourselves to get the nerves out.
Time went by much quicker this time and I was called back to see her in recovery. Walking towards her crib I was apprehensive about what I was going to see. Would there be blood all over like last time? Would she be the same or look totally different? Once I reached it I was blown away!
She looked like Shauna!! A little more swollen and with curly hair but she looked like her when she was that age. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I sat there rubbing her arm and kissing her hand over and over because while I loved my little Cleftie, she looked so normal. I took a few pictures so that I could send to our family back at home and let the nurses know that I would be back and Daddy was coming to see her.
When Eloy saw me he immediately started asking me about her and what she looked like and if she was okay if she was in pain and on and on. I just said “Go see for yourself” with no expression and he looked scared. When he came back a few minutes later he just hugged me and we cried together. Okay… he didn’t cry, I did, but still he held me tight and we were just speechless. I didn’t know how quickly her face would transform and what an impact it would make on us. Most people would say it wasn’t much but for us and her it was huge!
We were transferred to her private room and the nurse told us about these things on her arm, that I was barely noticing, called No-No’s. They keep the babies or kids from touching their stitches and cuts. Evalyn immediately hated them. She would screech and make the funniest expression with her eyes and eyebrows. She wouldn’t move her mouth too much because of the pain but you could tell she was aware that it was different. The first night was the worst. She cried and moaned in her sleep and the nurses kept giving her morphine to help but it didn’t seem to be working. The next day she was allowed to take Motrin in between pain meds to help manage the pain and the swelling.
I was once again afraid of feeding her. Eloy would use a syringe to put the broth and pedialyte into her mouth. Evalyn was NOT happy about not being able to eat so she put up a fuss. Sometime during the day Evalyn got really agitated and ripped the IV out of her hand and caused it to bleed pretty badly. I called the nurse in and she laughed because as soon as she walked in she say Evalyn wiggling her way out of the no-no’s. She said “You know I have only seen 2 other kids get out of those before. I think you have a magician on your hands!” I laughed semi-proud that my baby was smart enough to figure out how to take them off but also shocked that she was that determined. Ohhhh how I wish I knew then how that moment was when I should have realized what a crazy dare devil she would turn out to be. She can get out of anything and figure out the best way to get something. The stunts she has pulled over the past few yrs are enough to make any seasoned dare devil wince. My little Houdini is something else.
I don’t remember much of the stay at the hospital other then the smell of disinfectant and blood. It was nauseating and it clung to your skin. We were released after the second day and told to return in 4 days to have her stitches removed. We were given pain medicine to help her and instructions to make her rest and to take great care not to let her stitches get pulled. We ended up staying with Eloy’s aunt and uncle that lives in Austin. We spent our days relaxing and enjoying the family time or going to the movies. Evalyn was already starting to feel more like her adventurous and wild self and was trying to jump around and explore but mean ol’ mommy wouldn’t let her. I hated to crush her spirits but I didn’t want her to get hurt or open her wound. The guilt I felt at being so strict on her was immense.
When the day came we had to take her in to get her stitches out, we had to take her back to the outpatient surgery because she would need to be put under anesthesia again so that she wouldn’t freak and accidental hurt herself. The wait was only 20 minutes and she was in and out like nothing. The tubes were in her ears perfectly and not causing pain and her scar looked healthy. Her nose was perfectly shaped. It was insane how fast it healed. We were given a bag with instructions on care for her wound and things to look out for as signs of an infection and told to go to the clinic the next day and we would be cleared to go home.
The nurse at the clinic saw Evalyn and was excited to see how good of a job the doctor did on her. She looked amazing. Her scar was a rosy color but we were told it would fade and hopefully would hardly be noticeable. They gave us a 2”x3” block of silicone with a roll of medical tape. We were told to cut a small piece the size of her scar and to tape it on it. Silicone was found to be a great way to reduce the size and appearance of scars. We were told to get some Vitamin E oil and twice daily to massage her lip with the oil and then put the silicone back on for 3 months. The massage was to make sure that the lip wouldn’t pull up because of the scar tissue being too tight and to avoid becoming stiff and hard. We no longer needed the NAM anymore and they told us to keep it as a memento of the journey that we went through to get her lip fixed.
Two weeks after surgery when we were at home I took a picture of Evalyn to see how the scar was looking and it was hardly there. Evalyn looked like the perfect baby and nobody stared in the judging way anymore. I would get questioned on her bottle but it wasn’t as bad as before. Shauna was shocked when she saw her and demanded that we “fix her back!” her “sisser” looked weird. Now when people looked at her they saw what Mommy and Daddy saw the whole time. A beautiful little girl with the biggest dark brown eyes you have ever seen, sparkling with mischief. Her physical appearance did impact us. I missed her cleft. It’s funny to say that after all the rude and ugly comments and stares we got but it’s true. She was on her way to being a “normal” little girl, whatever that means.
A/N
The story is not yet over we still have the palate surgery and recovery and more of Shauna and her crazy shenanigans. Thank you for sticking with me. I know it takes forever for me to update but I will try to finish out the last two chapters soon. Evalyn will be having more work done this year so I may add on or write a second part to it afterwards. As usual I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes its unedited.
Andrea
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My "Cleftie"
Non-FictionWhen my little Evalyn was born, everything I thought I knew was out the window. I don't think that there was one thing that wasn't unusual, even during my pregnancy. I'd like to share the journey we had with her, with all of you. I'm not an expert...
