Guns Are For Show

Guns Are For Show - Part 5

Guns Are For Show      

by sloanranger 

Part  5

"Oh, that," he blushed. "You know what they say: guns are for show, knives are for pros."

"Uh, huh." Ethel said unconvincingly, staring at the Captain's pants.

 "I mean - my Morty had a rod," she continued, "but it wasn't anywhere near as big as yours." She couldn't take her eyes off of his pistol.

Trying to re-focus the lady's attention: "May I offer you a libation, Ethel," he said, "while we wait for your lovely daughters?"

"Never said if you was married, Captain Lewis."

"My dear wife ran off with our accountant. Imagine, after seventeen years of wedded bliss." The Captain was nervously going through his bottom desk drawer. "Always keep a little something in the desk for emergencies."

"Children, Lewis?"

"Just Oscar - she put him in military school, he replied, distracted. "They never got along."

"How many bullets can you shoot from that gun, Captain?"

Ethel got up from her chair, approaching the desk; not once had her eyes left the Captain's pants.

"Here we are, dear lady," he said, his hand frantically grasping something. He pulled out a bottle of whiskey and set it down on the desk.

There was a knock on the door and Detective Hardiman entered. "Captain, this is Angelina O'Malley and Dotty Brangler, Mrs. O'Malley's daughters.

"My babies." Momentarily forgetting the Captain's pistol, Ethel rushed to her girls. "Are you all right?"

"Hafta tell you, Ma, I'm a little distraught," Dotty said.

"Distraught?"

"Upset," Angie clarified.

"Well, I'm upset, too," Ethel second it.

"Ladies, maybe you should all have a little drink.  Hardiman, get some glasses."

"Captain, I, I don't know that's such a good ...."

"You heard what the Captain said." Ethel glared at the Detective.

"But Captain..." Hardiman struggled.

Dotty turned confrontationally toward Hardiman: "Maybe you didn't hear what Ma said?"

"Ladies, what do you know?" Lally beamed, holding up two glasses: "We'll take turns."

"Yeah," Angie turned to Dotty, angrily. "Why you always gotta get so mad."

"Now you goils stop fighting," Ethel said. "The Captain was just gonna show me his gun. Go ahead, Lewis - take it out."

The Captain chuckled nervously and filled two glasses. Angie reached for one. Dotty hissed: "Not before Ma!" 

All three women grabbed for the bottle then, at the same time while Detective Hardiman did his very best to slip quietly from the room....

The end... for now.