The List in The Butterfly Notebook *On Hold

The Hat my Mama Made

It had been hard trying to fit things in around reading the Bible to my Mama and with September approaching I wanted to get it finished. I had been reading to her for the past three days now and we still had a quarter of it left to go.

We had looked at the list together the other night and I had come down to breakfast the morning after to find my mama knitting in the garden, a floral scarf wrapped around her head. The French doors were wide open and the sun shone in illuminating the monochrome coloured kitchen.

I grabbed a glass from the cupboard above the dishwasher and filled it with water before heading out to join my mama Bible in hand. I perched on the edge of one of the garden chairs and placed my glass on the table.

My mama's eye met mine for a moment as it came to rest on the little red book in my right hand.

"Me, read" she said her voice wavering slightly her hand reaching out. I passed it to her and she lay it open on her lap. Still knitting she began to read it aloud to herself.

I listened to the sound of her voice and the clicking of her knitting needles watching closely as more and more rows of grey wool were created.

My chair scraped along the concrete as I stood up the ground feeling warm under my bare feet. I made my way into the kitchen and switched the switch on the wall by the oven to turn on the toaster. 

There wasn't much bread left in the bread bin and the majority of what was there had gone off but I salvaged what I could and placed two slices in the bright yellow toaster throwing the rest into the bin. I pushed the lever down and waited for it to pop.

The toast burnt but I didn't mind, a thick coating of jam and a glass of orange juice to follow solved that. After I had finished I rinsed my plate in the sink and laid it on the draining board before heading upstairs to get dressed. 

I yanked open the middle drawer of my dresser and pulled out fresh underwear and a clean t-shirt pushing it back in slowly afterwards. I stretched my t-shirt over my head and stepped into my shorts them brushing past my calves as I pulled them up.

Once I was dressed I made my way back down the stairs the silky fabric of my red shirt brushing against my delicate skin. My hair remained un brushed and hung around my face like a frame around a painting.

The wind had picked up slightly in the half an hour that I'd been inside and the teal coloured curtains that hung by the back door were being whirled around in the breeze.

I rejoined my mama in the yard and sat myself in the stripy garden chair adjacent to her own. She was still reading aloud but stopped when she saw me. Her knitting needles had been placed on the glass table and two cardboard rings that had clearly been used to make a pom-pom lay next to them, but there was no wool left in sight.

My Mama looked at me closely before gesturing for me to come and kneel down next to her. I did as I was told and knelt down next to her my knees scraping along the ground slightly. 

I looked up at her as she took a grey woolly object from the pocket of her cream cardigan and placed it over my head pulling it down so the brim was just above my ears.

I brought my hands to my head and began to feel the hat that had been placed upon it. The wool was scratchy and warm. The pom-pom bobbing on the top. I felt a tepid drop of water hit my thigh and tilted my head upwards to see my Mama crying. I rose to my feet and wrapped my arms around her bony frame rocking her back and forth. She knew, my mama knew I cared.