A Known Stranger

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

                Honest to God, I will break your heart, tear you to pieces and rip you apart. -30 Seconds to Mars.

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Noah’s POV

                I knew the moment our lips touched that it was wrong. Not in the sense of it being a horrible kiss- because it was far from that- but in the sense that I was only putting her in danger. With recent events, the only thing I could think about were Tucker’s words when he bent down my limp body once his men were done with beating me, the sick twisted smile that tugged at his lips, the cruel and amused look in his eyes as he looked right at me.

                “You’ll never be able to get out of this life,” he said. “I know you, Noah. Dealing is all you know.”

                And in a way he was right. Dealing was all I knew. I started from a young age, not knowing what else to do. In New York, you saw this kind of activity all the time, everywhere you went you saw someone dealing something to someone. With my parents always at work or out at some convention, I was mostly alone, the nanny always too busy shagging with her boyfriend in one of the guest bedrooms we had in our flat to even keep me company.

                I was alone, and when I got to the age that I no longer needed a babysitter and that I could go out and not worry about what time I got back in, I got involved with the wrong crowd. And one thing led to another and then before I knew it I was in a gang, dealing drugs, getting into fights and sleeping with anything in a skirt.

                And it wasn’t until a few months ago that my parents found out about my ways and decided that we were moving. From one day to another the choice was made and everything was arranged for us to leave New York and never go back.

                Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t felt when Fae had moved; her head now resting on my chest, while her hand wrapped around my waist. Looking down at her, I felt the corners of my lips pull up in a smile. Outside, the sun was rising. Light crept in through the open window and started to fill the room. As if sensing that the outside world was waking up, Fae stirred in her sleep and snuggled closer into my side.

                I smiled and ran my finger through her long, soft wavy hair; my fingers running through and untangling her hair. I had always had feelings for her, though I had always thought it was just my kid self not knowing the difference between liking someone and liking someone. But as the years progressed and whenever Fae and her parent’s would visit or vise versa, I noticed how my gaze would always linger a little too much. How I would notice the small things about her that no one else noticed, the way she would play with the ring she wore, or how she would stare blankly in front of her for a long period of time.

                I noticed how her grey eyes were always distant and dull when she wasn’t speaking with someone, how she would constantly make sure her bracelets were in place or her skirt or dress were covering her thighs well enough. I noticed her scratching at her arms, unaware that she was scratching too hard to the point of breaking skin.

                But even though Fae had her own demons, I knew she was a fighter.

                Breathing in deeply and wiggling around, she pressed herself closer into my side, exhaling in content as she laid her hand over my heart. I wondered if she could feel it beating faster through the thin material of my white T-Shirt; if she could hear it racing as her ear was pressed up against my chest. Running my hand down her arm, I lowered my head down and pressed my lips to her forehead.

                I knew that the moment she woke up, the right thing to do was push her away and pretend that what happened a few hours ago didn’t happen, after all, I was no good for her. But as I felt her shiver once my lips touched her skin, I knew that what I felt for her, I couldn’t ignore. I had been ignoring these feelings for years now. I wasn’t about to let this opportunity go.

                I knew that if things between Fae and I proceeded, things would get complicated, that she and I would fight, and sometimes we’d disagree on more than one thing, and go days without talking. That was just who Fae and I were.

                Call me selfish, I didn’t care.

                I wasn’t letting her go.

                The only way I would be able to protect her, was if I had her by my side.