And I Let it Happen

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I just want to thank everyone who has read my story thus far!  It really means alot that I have lovely people like you backing me up through all of this.  I hoped you liked my humor in the last chapter, but now it’s time for the bomb to be dropped.  BOOOOOOM!

-Akumal

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Past

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It had been quick, no more than a few seconds.  It felt really natural, although I had never been kissed before so I can’t really be the judge of that.  You know when you read about a kiss, how it always just feels so right and there’s this... spark?  Like fireworks are going off and you two are the only people in the world?  Yeah, well for me... it was a thousand times better than that.  It helped me to feel calm inside, even after all I had been going through.  It felt like that was going to be all I would think about forever, because I was his and he was mine.  But nothing lasts, as they say...

Alana stood there on my wooden front porch, arms crossed and jaw clenched.  Uh-oh.  I was in for it.

I thought she was going to explode on me, but she just glared at me, breathing out of her nose.  “I heard about your brother,” she managed to say through her clenched teeth.  How could I respond to that?  “Funny, though,” she said, actually opening her mouth.  She rolled her eyes as she looked away briefly.  “I didn’t hear about it from you.”  

Then she just stood, staring with her green eyes into what seemed like my very soul, as if willing it to go to hell.  

“Alana, I...”

“Don’t.  Don’t try to make any excuses Kai.” She uncrossed her arms and held her fists at her sides.  “We’re best friends, Kai.  You’ve been ignoring you all week.  I even texted you and tried to call you!  I don’t understand why you didn’t answer me!”  

“Alana, I haven’t really wanted to talk to anyone!  My brother just freaking died!” I yelled, choking back tears.

She looked taken aback at that.  A bit of realization crossed her face, mixed with what could have been an apology.  Then it turned stone hard again.  “Oh, so you don’t count Akoni as ‘anyone’?”

“What?” How on earth did she know about that?

She must have seen that I knew just what she was talking about on my face, because immediately she went on accusing me.

“That’s right!  I saw you talking to him the other night, at the boardwalk!  The same night Iokua died!”  She took a deep breath and calmed down a little.  Then it hit her.  “That’s why he died, wasn’t it?  Because you were too BUSY, TALKING TO YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND TO CARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY!”

I was speechless.  It was true... it was all my fault...

Tears streamed down my face, but my expression didn’t change.  There were tears on Alana’s face, too.  I hadn’t meant to ignore her, it just seemed like everything was happening at once...

Everything was more important...

Than my best friend...

How had I let that just happen?

“Alana-” I whispered.

“Don’t.  Just don’t, Kai.” She put her hand up to stop me, then dropped it and squeezed her eyes shut.  “Just don’t.”

My breath was heavy, as was hers.  A part of me hated her for yelling at me when my brother had just died and my life was just one big mess, but a bigger part of me knew that she had every right in the world to scream at me.  I deserved it.  I ignored my best friend just because I wanted to spend time with Akoni and my mom.  She wasn’t the one comforting me after my loss.

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