Nemophilist || larry

08.

Louis sits at his kitchen table, his foot tapping like crazy. He's terrified for this moment. He's not sure he can go through with it. Harry is important to him. So important but this is crazy.

The door opens and Louis snaps his head over to watch as Jenny walks in the room. Her blonde hair hangs over her shoulder and she smiles when she sees him. He tries to smile back but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"Good to see you home. Feels like you're never around anymore," she jokes and Louis freezes and his speech leaves his head so he opens his mouth and prays for the best.

"I'm not going to be around anymore. I'm leaving," he blurts. He wants to smack himself in the face and the girl looks at him, her blue eyes wide in shock.

"What?" She asks and Louis blushes and clears this throat.

"That came out bad. I've just been doing a lot of thinking and self improvement lately and I've discovered some things about myself," Louis clarifies and she just keeps staring at him in shock.

"And what did you discover, Louis? Did you just decide to not love me anymore?" She asks, her tone snippy. Louis flinches and he wishes he could swallow his words and just never bring this up again.

"I discovered that I need to put me first. My feelings," Louis says. He wants to just say that he discovered Harry and his feelings but he's petrified of her response.

"Oh? And what are your feelings?" She asks again and he frowns.

"I don't like your tone. I can understand why you'd be upset but let's be grown up about this," Louis snaps back and she just lets out a forced laugh and slams her hand down.

"You constantly leave the house and never tell me why and now you don't love me? Clearly you're seeing another woman and you expect me to just be okay with that? You want me to be calm about that?!" She yells. Her engagement ring sparkles on her hand and Louis feels guilt run through his veins.

"No of course not, Jen. I just don't want to yell and fight with you. I never want any bad feelings between us," Louis tries to calm her and her eyes are filled with tears. She pulls up her hand and throws the ring at him.

"Who is she? Is she someone we go to church with?" She cries and Louis looks down. His stomach knots but he needs to be honest. If he's doing this he needs to do it fully. Tears prick his eyes as he swallows the last of his fear and looks up at her.

"His name is Harry and he doesn't go to church. I meet him in the woods everyday and I think I'm in love with him," Louis tells her. Her hand covers her mouth as each word slips passed his lips and he's crying too.

"You're disgusting. You're so fucking disgusting, Louis Tomlinson. I want you out of my house. Grab all of your stuff and get the fuck out. My father told me your were a faggot. He told me," she sobs. Louis moves to comfort her but she jerks away and her blue eyes bore into his.

"Do not touch me! Keep your faggot sinning hands off of me. Get your shit and get out!" She screams. Louis can feel panic rise in him and he feels like he may pass out. His breathing is heavy and his legs feel like jello. He starts to wobble and slowly sinks to the floor.

He pulls his knees to his chest and he feels abandoned and just cold. Jenny is still screaming at him but he can't move. He feels like the world is creeping in and suffocating him. He's a faggot. He's a sinner. He's not meant to be loved. This is what he is. He felt safe with his choice is his small world with Harry but out here he's a target. He's meant to be attacked.

"You have 20 minutes to get up and get your stuff before I call the police," Jenny's voice comes through again and Louis still feels sick but he brings himself to his feet. He focuses on the ground and each step he takes. He focuses on grabbing his suitcase and grabbing all his clothes. He focuses on grabbing his toiletries and his small items. He grabs his shoes and his guitar and he focuses on piling everything by the door as he packs up his whole life.

"I never, ever want to see you again. I hope your mother shuns you too. You can never show your face in church ever again," Jenny says and then she slams the door in his face and he's left with his bags and his keys. He just swallows the lump in his throat again and picks up his stuff and shoves it in the back of his car. He has nowhere to go but he has money. He decides he'll spend the night in a motel and tomorrow he'll take his name off the mortgage and everything else involving his ex-fiancée.

And then he'll find himself a nice one bedroom and he'll bring Harry home. And he hopes then this will all be worth it.