Rippler

Chapter 13

COVERUP 

I stared at my bike, in front of Las ABC. I didn't want to bike; I needed to run. What had I done to my friendship with Gwyn?

The weather had shifted again, from stormy to sultry. The hoodie had been a mistake, but not my biggest one today. My bike could wait; I needed to run.

I took off into the sticky morning, my feet carrying me up into the hills, along the 7K trail. Up through oak branches, leaves drooping with rain, up the patches slick with new mud. On and on until the ache eased in my chest, until the confrontation with Gwyn looked like something we could both move past.

This was why I ran. Because it was the only way I had to move through the pain of being alive to a space where it became bearable, seemed possible.

I ran on and on until my feet brought me back to Las ABC, and then I hopped on my bike without looking to find out if Gwyn or Bridget could see me.

At home, I was into my swimsuit in minutes. The pool glimmered invitingly, but in spite of the morning rain-shower, the water was right below bath-temperature. I felt restless in the pool, and soon I took off down the path to my lookout where I knew I could count on a breeze to pass over my wet, warm skin. On the way, I saw Sylvia, picking late raspberries and corn. She smiled and held out a handful of my favorite fruit. The raspberries were large, firm, and sweet with a hint of acid-tang that made them my favorite. I gleaned a few she'd missed, popping them in my mouth, too.

"First two weeks of school behind you, huh?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," I replied, pausing a moment beside her.

"So how are things going?"

"Classes are fine." I wanted to tell her more, but I didn't know how to explain my thing with Gwyn.

"School's a lot more than classes, huh? That's what I remember from the olden days." She passed me a couple more berries, and I sat beside her.

"That hasn't changed," I agreed.

"Things okay with you and your friends?" She was good at catching small shifts in my mood.

"Fine," I said. The half-truth pulled color to my face. "Well, sort of fine."

She waited, patient beside me, rustling through the vines for scarlet fruit.

"I don't know what I should do. I made Gwyn really mad at me, and I didn't mean to, and I can't figure out how to fix it." My eyes swilled with stinging tears.

"I thought maybe something was wrong, baby. So you're worried you won't be able to patch it up?"

I nodded, tears spilling onto my cheeks, salty as they trailed down past my lips. She passed me a paper-towel from the roll she was using to pad between layers of raspberries.

"You know you can tell me anything, right baby?"

No, I can't, I thought.

"What is it honey? Tell me."

"I can't," I said, my throat contracting as several more tears escaped.

Her eyes narrowed and she gazed out over the ravine, following birds that dove and swooped as if to celebrate the earlier rain. "Okay, then. So what do you think you should do, honey?"

"I need to apologi—ize," I said, my breath catching in a hiccup as I forced myself to stop crying.

"You are a very smart young woman. 'I'm sorry' goes a long way. You'll find a time when you can tell her, all by yourself. It's your first falling-out, right?"