Top and Tail [boyxboy] [slash]

Chapter 21: "I'm A Virgin," & Other Sentences I Never Thought I'd Say to My Dad

Knock. Knock.

"Piss off."

However as I lay curled up in a ball on the bed, no sounds of retreating footsteps echoed through the almost silence... The only sound that met my ears was my muffled thin wails.

It was rather pathetic really.

Knock. Knock.                                       

"I said, bugger off," I snapped, not really in the mood to face my fucking perfect boyfriend.

Knock. Knock.

Sighing in frustration, I sat up and wiped my red-rimmed eyes. I wasn't mad at Jay, not really... Just jealous, and pissed off, and...

"Just come in then," I conceded, swinging my legs over the edge of the mattress so that I was in a slightly more dignified position than my previous predicament.

But Jay didn't scuffle through the door and wrap his arms around me, like I'd expected (or hoped).

It was my mum.

And suddenly, things were ten thousand times more awkward than before.

"Uh..."

Even though I was the idiot with the big mouth, who had stupidly blurted the secret out in a fiery rage of blind anger, mum looked more shaken up than me. Her light frame shivered slightly, her expression downtrodden, hidden under a straggly wave of fine black hair which I had obviously inherited. Hesitantly, she shuffled over and perched herself neatly on the end of the bed, floundering.

Deep down, I felt a small twinge of guilt.

"Hi mum," I muttered throatily, my croaky voice betraying my fruitless effort to sound calm and composed. Through the dual layers of dark hair between our eyes, I saw small beads of tears form in the corner of mum's. Shit.

"Uh..."

Why was I so bloody useless at situations like this!? I mean, sure, I never had a close relationship with my parents, but still! You'd think I'd bloody well know how to comfort them! What kind of a useless son was I?

"Mum, I'm-"

"It's Jay, isn't it?" she whispered, cutting me off. My mouth stopped mid-word. I simply let it hang there, freely, as my mind frantically tried to come up with some feeble excuse.

"Yeah," I sighed, resting my face in my hands. A short sob tried to wrench itself from my throat, but I swallowed deeply and forced it back down. The trembling action almost made me feel physically sick.

"He's a good boy," mum said quietly. I sat up in shock, her shaky words not quite registering in my mind.

"Uh... Yeah, he is," I agreed, anxiously chewing on the end of my thumb. Her eyebrows contracted slightly – when I was younger she used to constantly bark at me for this stupid nervous habit. But the yap of reprimand never came; rather, she simply sniffled and bit her lips.

I guess I'd disappointed her enough for one day.

"I'll just... I can pack my bags as soon as, by the way," I offered carefully. Her neck snapped up with a painful crick.

"Pack? Ash, what on earth are you talking about?"

My teeth chomped down on my thumb again, so hard they drew blood. Hissing lightly in pain, I tore my hand away from my chattering mouth.

"So I can leave? I mean, you're Catholic, right? I'm... I'm gay. Generally, Catholics don't like gay people."

Mum swallowed, obviously thinking over my proposition. Why the hell wasn't she jumping at the chance? I knew I'd always been a disappointment, and she knew I knew, so she didn't even have to pretend.