Part 4

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I was finishing my homework last minute on a cafeteria table. Someone came and sat down next to me, taking my homework.

"Excuse you." I said, trying to grab it but he moved his hand further away.

"You might know me from math. I'm Louis' friend." He said.

I raised my shoulders, "So?"

"Listen, we know what you're trying to do, and it's not working."

I started to worry, I didn't think about what I would do if people found out, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't act dumb Marcel, we already know everything." 

I ignored him, pretending he wasn't there. He pushed me off the chair, pinning me down on the floor.

"Listen, you might think you're getting Louis to like you, and hey, maybe he does. But just remember that you'll never, ever, be good enough for him. There's not one chance you will be. If I were you, I would just stop now, instead of making a complete fool of myself." He let go of me and walked off.

Thing is, his theory wasn't half as bad as what I was really doing. The guilt never stopped building up, and I couldn't ignore it. It hurt too much.

***

I was in Louis' room, waiting for him to come back. I picked up the picture frame, and looked at Harry. "I'm sorry." I whispered to him. 

Maybe he won't kill himself. Maybe he'll forget about it. Maybe if I tell him about it he'll get over it.

But what if he doesn't?

"What are you doing here?" I heard Louis walk in. I turned around to face him, "I think we should break up."

"Break up?" Louis squinted his eyes, "Why?"

I sighed, "I don't think you'd understand, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Louis smiled.

I raised my eyebrow, only to make him laugh, "It's alright, I'll get over it." He smiled, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yea," He shrugged, "shit happens."

I smiled, leaving his house after. I didn't know whether to be sad or happy. Now I can be myself. I don't have to pretend anymore, but I'm back to being Marcel, and Louis hates me. What am I supposed to feel?

"Wait." I heard Louis running after me, "I'll miss you." He said, patting by back. He walked back to his house, not looking back once.

"I'll miss you too." I mumbled, once he was far enough so he wouldn't here.

***

I walked into my bathroom, taking the contacts off. I grabbed my glasses and put them on. 

"No more pretending anymore, that's what I wanted." I whispered.

"Louis' what I wanted." I corrected myself.

"You're finally wearing your glasses again." My brother said, scaring me.

I smirked, looking in the mirror, "After months too."

He stood next to me, crossing his arms and looking at me in the mirror, "What's going on?"

"Contacts are too frustrating." I shrugged. 

"Shut up Marcel." He shook his head.

"Why?"

"You're what everyone's talking about in school," He put his hand on my shoulder, "you shouldn't be ashamed of being gay."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "I was never ashamed of that! I feel like I'm the only one who really knows what's happening."

Because I am the only one.

I heard him sigh, "There's nothing wrong with letting someone know you love them." He said.

I turned to face him, "I know." I muttered.

He awkwardly looked around the room, tapping his finger on the counter.

"Oh, sorry." I said, before leaving the bathroom, hearing him close the door once I left. Even though he didn't know, he was right.

How could I have been so selfish. I broke up with Louis as Harry just so he wouldn't think I'm a fool. How come everything I do is wrong? How come everything ends happy for everyone else but me?

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