Callie and Brandon: A Love Above Family

Chapter 17: Brandon

It had been quite an overwhelming day for Brandon, the car ride with Callie had been intense. The closest they'd been in years, but still so far apart. Lunch had been good, it was easier when they were surrounded by their family. It helped when they had to be the people their family thought they were, just a brother and sister, not two ex-lovers who still had so much unspoken between them.

Lunch had turned into an afternoon of family stories and board games, he'd noticed when she'd left the room and headed upstairs but made no mention of it. Things were different now, long gone were the days when he might have followed, asked how she was. Instead he'd stayed with his brother Jude and celebrated with him some more. They'd talked about where Jude and Connor were staying, about Jude's new college courses and a bit about Connor. Jude had been a rock in Brandon's life over the 5 years. Back then he'd imagined Jude pulling away from him when Callie and he'd broken apart but he never had and he was unbelievably grateful. Jude had constantly rung, emailed and had even visited him in New York a few times. They'd developed in-jokes, an obsession with trying new food and had lengthy conversations about the weirdest of topics. He'd become the brother he'd never really had with Jesus. The only thing Jude never did was mention Callie. Every other member of the family had continued on like nothing had ever happened but Jude had changed that one small thing. He never spoke of her, he never mentioned her in passing and Brandon loved him for it. It meant Jude loved Brandon for Brandon and not for Callie. 

Jude had suggested Brandon and he go out for a drive once all the family had gone off to do various activities and Brandon had readily agreed. He'd wanted to see Jude as much as possible before he headed off with Connor. They'd headed to the beach, mostly because it was the nicest place and mostly because there really wasn't anywhere else to go. They'd strolled down the beach talking this and that, they'd jumped waves and they'd skimmed pebbles into the ocean. Brandon had been content and happy. If he ever regretted Callie being his sister, his second thought was always how much he loved having Jude as his brother. 

However Jude had changed the game that day, he'd broken their unspoken rule and he'd spoken of Callie, he's spoken of Callie and Brandon. The two of them, he'd put their two names in one sentence and he'd blown Brandon's mind.

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Earlier that day at the beach....

Brandon and Jude were sat on the beach looking out at the waves, watching each one as it came in and crashed on the shoreline. Brandon found a lot of peace with the ocean. It calmed him, in a similar way that his music did. Brandon realised Jude had became quiet after an afternoon of chatter and turned to him to ask what was up but the words stopped in his throat when Jude mentioned Callie.

"Do you still love Callie, Brandon?" The words from Jude's lip came in loud and clear to Brandon's ears but he couldn't comprehend them. "Do I what?" Brandon panicked, no-one had said anything aloud about this for 5 years and he had no idea how to cope.

"I said, do you love Callie? I see you Brandon, I've watched you for 5 years. I've seen your ears prick up every time she's been mentioned at home. I've seen you read articles about her app. I've seen you watch out for her even though you knew she wasn't coming. I've seen you write countless emails to an account you know she'd not checking. I know Brandon. I know about you but I just need to hear you say it before I leave because I want you to deal with it before it consumes you. You need to figure it out sooner rather late otherwise I think it will destroy you, and you deserve so much. I love you Brandon and as I asked you five years ago to make a decision, I'm asking you again but this time I'm asking you to figure out how you really feel and make a decision about what you're going to do."

"I.....I....I had no idea Jude. I thought my feelings were invisible," Brandon began, a little more sure of himself. His brother Jude once again proving how amazing he was. He'd really noticed him and still supported him, Jude knew how unhappy he was. "To be honest Jude, I do still love her. She made me feel like the world came together in all the right ways. She was the person I could be myself with, the person who challenged me but supported me. I...I love her but I love our family and I still don't want to jeopardize that but thank you for noticing me, noticing my feelings and respecting me."

Brandon reached out to Jude for a hug, which Jude returned with gusto. Brandon was glad Jude had said something, he just didn't know what he was going to do or say to Callie and whether he should at all but Jude was right in one thing, he had to make the decision this time and he also needed to decided about England. If Callie wanted nothing to do with, then he would go to England and start his life over again but he was nervous, what if Callie wanted something to do with, what would he do then?

The possibilities haunted him.

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He was still being haunted hours later by the very thought of Callie and him.....the words they'd yet to say. Callie had been absent from dinner, mama mentioned her visiting some old friends from her group home days. He was surprised to find he missed her absence in a way he hadn't in years. He'd become so immune to his feelings, that now he'd opened the door a crack to them, her very presence or lack of it affected him. 

His thoughts flew around his head like ghosts of years past, and when the door went he presumed it was Callie returning from visiting her friends, he heard her door go and a new silence descended over the house. It was different now in the adams-foster household, Jesus and Jude's room was now just Jude's room, and that was where Jude and Connor were staying. Marianna's and Callie's room was like an empty shrine to two teenage girls who no longer made their presence felt there. Callie was staying there whilst she was in town. 

Brandon's room lay untouched as well. The room resembled the boy who'd left for school in disgrace all those years ago. His old keyboard lay dusty in the corner, with old song books surrounding it. Old knickknacks and memorability from a life lived long ago cluttered up all the remaining spaces. He felt safe here, but he also felt sad. Callie had told Brandon she loved him in this room and the memory of it came bubbling up in his mind forcing it's way into his consciousness. Brandon began to relive the best moment of his life, then the inevitable comedown kicked in when he remembered she no longer loved him. 

Brandon realised then just how truly sad he was and promised to do something about it whether it meant he would be with or without Callie.