You're My New Nightmare || n.h

Chapter 32 - "I'm not going anywhere."

Gif of Olivia.

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I wanted to say a couple of things before you start reading. 

First of all; the story has now reached 3K reads! I see it growing for each day and I can't explain how happy I am! It took me 3 months to get 1K and now it has only taken me like 3 weeks to go from 2K to 3K! Thank you so much for reading it. It really means a lot.

Second of all; WARNING! This chapter contains a lot of depressing things and if you're going through a rough time or have in the past, you might want to skip reading this part. It's not necessarily important for the story itself, so if you don't feel comfortable enough to read about suicidal thoughts/self harming/hospitals/mental illnesses in general, just don't read this chapter. And if you don't want to read it, but is curious on what happens, message me and I'll tell you what happens (less details of course). My inbox is always open and I'll always listen to you if you're going through something tough. Remember that.  

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Question for this chapter: Favourite song at the moment?

Author's answer: "Howl at the moon" - We The Kings

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Previously in chapter 31:
"Let me see your wrists."

"What? No." I frowned, feeling insecure.

"That wasn't a fucking question. Show me." He demanded.

"Niall, you're freaking me out." I mumbled.

He threw my shirt on the floor and walked towards me. I crawled backwards on his bed, eventually hitting the headboard with my back. The look on his face scared me to be honest. My heart was pounding extremely hard by now. He crawled up on the bed too and pressed his knees on each side of my right thigh, trapping me between his legs. Then he grabbed my arm and roughly pushed up my sleeve. 

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I felt the tears burning under my eyelids as he just stared down at my scars. He slowly traced his fingers against them and gently leaned his forehead against my chin. My bottom lip started shaking. I was so afraid of what he might do. I've always been afraid of what someone would do if they found out. Would they lecture me that it's wrong to harm yourself? Would they tell me to get help? Would they get angry? Would they understand?

"Don't do this to yourself." He whispered and gently placed small kisses along my wrist.

I was slightly crying by now, but I didn't dare to cry out loud.

Don't cry in front of him

"Please stop."

"I can't." I said, barely making any sound.

He looked up at me and this is by far the most vulnerable I've ever seen him. He looked so... hurt.

"You have to, because I can't stand to see you hurting yourself like this. You need to stop, or else..."

He looked away.

"Or else what?" I mumbled.

"Or else I'll start too."

"No you wouldn't."

"I've done it before, so don't you dare tell me I wouldn't do it."

My heart broke. I forced my arm out from his gentle grip and ran my fingers through his wet hair to distract him.