6.My mailing address

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"You don't have much time left –"No shit sherlock.

"You should spend more of it with family instead of locking yourself in this room" Geez! Never crossed my mind.

I knew I was dying, I knew I should be with family right now but who was my family? The couple who was titled as my parents since I had the same half of DNA as them or my grandparents who were so sick of me that they decided to leave me alone in this big world or shelly who was getting sick seeing me sick??

Now, Martha my nurse was a very kind hearted nurse who was probably nearest to the motherly figure my mind made up after my grandma and I knew she cared for me too much that it crossed the line of professional relationship between a patient and nurse but it was so hard to deny her awe so sweet yet absolutely ridiculous request.

So, I stood up shakily from my bed and walked to the drawer with all the letters and pick the one which was next to my journal.

No, I didn't keep a journal of the end of my pathetically written life but I  used to back when I was a kid. So, it was like remembering what I wrote by reading through my diary and then reading his letters.

I really wanted to live those memories again before my last breath. Dramatic much..but true.

Some would say I am depressed but seriously everybody has to die at one point or other. And to quote Fault in our stars here "Depression is not the result of cancer, it's a result of dying. "

As I  walked out into the garden the cool breeze touched my drugs and multiple syringes touched skin which made me wince at the sharp pain that I felt throughout my bare skin. I clutched my sweater closer to my body as I flopped on to  the side bench.

Opening the journal I went through the inked pages, a familiar scent of old pages filling my nostrils. That was the day after receiving that letter I had decided to pour my heart out in this little piece of magic called diary in hopes of every word becoming true.

I was so happy reading the few last lines of his last letter that I reread it a number of times again and again. He wanted to talk more? That meant I am not that weird. May he is awed by my personality. What does he look like? I hope he is not creepy or something.

These were very few of the large pile of questions I was building at the back of my mind which were unfortunately received by my very clueless best friend. I never admitted it back then but I held grudges against my parents who abandoned me without giving it a second thought. Although they used send me chocolates every few months but that didn't vaporized the fact that I despised them. Throughout our phone conversation she hummed a lot more times than my questions. Finally she gave me the much needed advice of writing back the letter reciprocating his intentions.

Dear Mad Hatter,

Well you changing my pen name will not change the fact that my real name means sadness literally and I'm cool with that. I like my name anyways it gives my personality whole gothic kind of definition.

Now addressing the elephant in the room I would love to keep writing these letters and carry on with our conversation. They keep me sane anyway and my only friend is spared from the daily torture of hearing my never ending rants.

(Although I knew many people, used to greet me regularly but only few had been given this prestigious opportunity to get close to my bandaged heart with abandonment issues.)

Do you remember my best friend shelly? well, she broke up with her boy friend who treated her as a rebound. See, this is the exact reason I don't like popular kids. They are so superficial. ( I hope you are not popular)

Speaking of superficial my parents sent me another set of chocolates which were given to  some street kids because although I hated them but I am aware of the fact that food should not be wasted . Anyways they were so happy to receive such an unexpected gift it was heartwarming to see them smile. I  don't know but it  feels like how small are my non existent problems in front of theirs and yet how big their hearts are than mine when they offered me some of those chocolates. It's just beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful my handsome tinker bell got married to the cat next door and  they are planning to start a family. It is what looks like, trust me you don't wanna see.

Grandpa got cold two nights before but it was nothing major to be afraid of but I swear I was so scared to see grandma collapse like that worried about him. As beautiful as their bonding is, it shook me to the core to see them fall ill. They should not ever fall sick in my opinion no parents ( grand parents in my case ) should.

I hope to hear from you soon and the next letter would come at my house. 

Yours,

           Alice...;)

With that letter I gave him my address. 

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 18, 2016 ⏰

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