Faded Perfection (Beautifully Flawed, #2) - SAMPLE

Chapter 4

My skin prickled as the hair on my arms rose. Adam parked the car next to the hospital, which looked more like a hotel than a place where people went to die. I swallowed as the car idled and we sat in silence. I fought the urge to tell Adam to leave--to go anywhere but here and never return again. I glanced over at Adam's blank expression and heaving chest, realizing he must be thinking the same thing. I closed my eyes as I inhaled, rubbing my sweaty palms against my skirt as my muscles bulged with the urge to run away. My eyes opened when I heard Adam take a deep breath, and his keys jingled as the car's motor finally ceased.

"We can do this," Adam said as he stared at the white rose sitting on the dashboard. He reached for it, and my eyes ran from the rose up his exposed forearm to the once pressed but now wrinkled white button-up to his pale face. He licked his lips, and I watched as he swallowed. "We can do this."

A shiver ran through my body, and I closed my eyes as I trembled. I felt the warmth of Adam's palm cupping my chin and my body's jerking softened at his touch until I opened my eyes and nodded.

"Okay." I let the breath out knowing we needed to do this for Tara. "Let's do this."

Instead of rushing in from the rain like the last time we arrived at the hospital, we slowly walked up the steps hand in hand. The day was already fading, and the air was crisp again as if it might snow. The world was still a frozen wasteland from the weather that caused the accident, but now it was dotted with ugly patches of brown and gray sand. The beauty of the storm was showing its true, harsh, disgusting colors. I pulled my eyes from the mottled snow as we traveled up the cement steps. Adam's gaze locked on me as we stood in front of the door. I nodded, my breath coming out in a misty ball and he opened the door. As we entered the warm, stagnant air hit me and filled my lungs. I felt it stop in my lungs as I fought the urge to gag and run back the way we came, but Adam's hand found the small of my back and gently pushed me forward. His hand remained on my back as he pulled his cell phone out, looked at a text and signaled with his chin to the silver doors in front of us.

"We should take the elevator," he sad.

I nodded, afraid to open my mouth and let the air of death in. It was irrational, but all I could feel around me was death, pain and loss. It was palatable, as if I breathed it into my soul and now it was a part of me. A part of me I could no longer change or remove. I stepped into the elevator and Adam moved behind me wrapping his arms over mine and resting his head on the top of my own. I tried to concentrate on Adam's breathing behind me, but the red numbers flashing the floors drew me in and I found myself watching them as they slowly flicked by. Each one jogged a breath out of me as we moved closer and closer to Tara in God knew what state. When the door opened we didn't move. Instead, we stared down the dull white hall as the noise of machines flickered in and out.

Another couple stepped in the elevator and looked at us expectantly.

"What floor?" the man asked.

I shook my head as if I could rattle my brain back into functioning. It didn't work, but Adam seemed to still be able to function, because he stepped around me and stuck his arm out so the elevator wouldn't close.

"This is us," Adam said more to me than the man as I stood holding my elbows.

Adam cocked his head at me, his eyes searching mine, and I swallowed before I forced my legs to move forward. Once they were moving, I couldn't stop them, because I knew if I did I would dart back onto the elevator and hit the ground floor key until it broke. Adam's footsteps jogged up behind me as I stopped and stared at the door in front of me.

This was it.

I kept my eyes on the door as my hand clasped around the cold knob and then let the door slowly swing open. I stood in the doorway as my eyes fell on the bed where Tara lay, black and blue with an intricate web of wires dancing over her embattled skin. I could feel my lip trembling as I stood there without breathing. Bobby hadn't lived, but I couldn't imagine Tara was alive from the way she looked. My stomach rolled.

Bobby probably wasn't recognizable.

I lurched into the room and grabbed the trashcan by the bed, burying my head in it as my stomach heaved but nothing came out. There was nothing left in my stomach after the cemetery. Again, Adam's fingers ran over my back, trying to comfort me as the tears streamed down my face and into my open mouth. I put my hand on the bed for support and jumped back screaming as my hand touched Tara's cold, lifeless one.

Adam grabbed my shoulders and whipped me around before I could look at Tara.

"River!" Adam's hands shot up to my face and held it there. "Calm down."

Bobby's face flashed in my mind, but it wasn't his. It was purple and blue; his lip was busted showing his teeth as his unseeing eyes bulged.

Oh, God.

I could feel myself screaming, but I couldn't stop it. This was the way I should've been when the doctor told me Bobby was dead. I was coming apart.

"River!" Adam's voice knocked into my head. "You need to calm down!"

The screaming that once was inside my head and was now coming out of my mouth turned into a strangled sob.

Adam's voice cracked. "Please, River! Please, calm down."

My head jerked back as I opened my eyes, locking them on him.

His eyes raced over my face, panicked. "That's it, breathe."

"This was a bad idea," I said and my voice sounded as raw as my throat now felt.

"It's okay. We had to do it sometime, now turn back around slowly," Adam said and his hands slipped down my body to my elbows, applying pressure to make me turn.

"I can't Adam," I whispered. "She's...God...how's she still alive?"

"God, that's how."

I closed my eyes and turned slowly. My eyes flickered over her, and I clasped them shut again.

"Is there any part of her that is...normal colored?" I asked, and I wondered if he heard me because I could barely hear myself.

"Not that I can see," Adam said, his voice catching as his hands tightened on my arms.

I opened my eyes again and finally looked at her fully. Next to her hand was the white rose. I blinked several times before I reaching forward, my hand hovering before I swallowed and wrapped it over hers.

"Tara, girl...I need you to wake up," I said, keeping my eyes on her hand. I glanced over my shoulder at Adam. "How can she survive this?"

Adam's gaze was locked on Tara's face and his thick lashes moved in rapid succession against his cheeks as he shook his head. "She has to."