Undercover As Geek

The Verification

The only evidence from last night's terrible events is the neglected way that my window blinds are flung upwards against the glass. When I first notice them after stretching, I'm confused. And then the memories flood in, and the joyous sensation that was inside my chest is washed away, replaced by a cold, ugly dread. Sighing, I restore the flaps to their usual positions and grudgingly sling on some casual clothes.

A green light on my phone is blinking, and I pick it up. A message from Asher flashes onscreen, sending another aching reminder across my brain. Hesitantly, I open our conversation folder. It's a short text, but I find myself staring at it, perplexed, for a long while.

Ok, meet u at FF at 5 for the flowers. Thanks, babe.

Flowers? I never bought any flowers. I bite my lip until the screen goes black, and then drop it on the bed. The clock said it is 9:30, so I figure that I have a couple of hours until I meet Asher at Fat Freddy's. And the flowers... Maybe he was hinting nicely that his mom wanted some roses or something. Or maybe he just thought that I had told him earlier that I would bring him some. I don't remember saying that, but everything was such a blur that I might have.

After a small breakfast, I splay out on the couch and perch my laptop on my knees. It hums while the starting screen loads and I wiggle my toes to entertain myself. When it is finally ready, I log onto my profile and open a browser. I tap my fingers against the keys for a minute while I decide what to do. Humming, I open my email.

The first message in the inbox is from Noah. My heart flies to my throat and I cautiously click on it, ready to see an accusatory sentence about how lecherous a person I am.

Of course, it isn't. There is a friendly, cordial paragraph thanking me for the great time he'd had yesterday, along with a weird UFO fact and a link to the SETI website, if I wanted to check out their organization. My shoulders relax as I release a long, relieved string of air. I can live another day without their hatred. But my innocence would only last at the most a week or two. The Chronicles' journalists are known for shooting out their articles quick. And once the researchers discover that an article had been written to ridicule them, I'm the first person they'd suspect. A newbie without freckles.

I imagine Geoffrey, his face lit with the amazing discovery at the park. And Kay, how she was so animated when she talked about joining SETI. And Franklin and Jackson and Aubrey and Tommy and... I stop listing names when pain shoots through my heart. I picture each one of them furious at me, their cheeks flaming with anger and their eyes hurt with betrayal. They consider me family, and I stab them in their back, so that all the other students in West Collier High could laugh at their beliefs. Because of me.

The geeks wouldn't care too much about the teasing itself, I'm sure. They are able to tolerate their classmates' cruelty daily, not bothering to acknowledge the upperclassmen's lame jokes. I've seen them ignore them without a blink of an eye. So the fame that will accompany the article won't be the problem. It'll be the fact that one of their own did it to them. They'll figure out that I had been collecting information while they were working with me, cheering me on, lecturing me, and even giving me beads that they had painted specifically for me. In their eyes, I will always be a dirty criminal, not worthy of their genuine friendship that they have offered me. My future haunts me as I follow the swoops and slants of the "Sincerely, Noah" of the email with my eyes. I am losing another piece of my heart.

And while I regret giving Asher their theories, I can't force myself to take them back. He needs some assurance that he will have a good future, even if that means mine will thoroughly stink. Especially now that his mom... Paralysis isn't something that's easily dealt with. I recall Asher's broken composure those hours ago and know that while it won't be pleasant for me, I've done the correct thing for my boyfriend.