Save Me

She's Going to Change Me for the Better

I finally stopped when my legs started to burn. I wiped away the tears that fell while I was running and looked at where I ended up. “I didn’t even get that far.” I groaned slamming my hands down on the top part of the white fence that enclosed the pastures.

            “Are you okay?” I turned around seeing Jake standing there with a horse in tow. Was it Jake or Jason? John? I forget.

            I wiped the streaks off my face and said, “I’m fine.” I turned back around and faced the sun that was setting behind the hills in the distance. I heard the horse let out a strong breath of air, but that was the only sound to break the silence.

            “Look, I heard about why you’re here and I just want to say I –”

            I cut him off. “I don’t need you’re pity. I don’t need anyone’s pity.” I was more mad than upset at this point. “You don’t know me, you don’t know how I was raised, so don’t offer me your damn apologies. You have no clue.” I hissed before storming past him and his horse before making my way back to the house. “That son of a bitch thinks I need his dumb ass apology well he’s dead wrong.” I vented to myself as I walked along the stone covered path. “Who does he think he is anyway, a fucking cowboy Casanova?” I honestly don’t know why I was so mad right now. It’s just that word “sorry.” It never had meaning to me or my mother for that matter.

            “How was school brat?” My mom sneered as she flipped through a People magazine.

            I scoffed. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I turned to open the refrigerator before hearing the magazine smack against the coffee table. Before I could grab a bottle of water the refrigerator door slammed shut.

            “You good for nothing little brat,” She said pushing me against the wall and grabbing my forearm in her hand. I winced as her grasp on me got tighter with every word she spoke. “Don’t you dare ever talk to me like that again! I work hard to put a roof over your head, pay for that car, and buy your clothes. The least you can do is show me some respect.” Her face was so close to mine I could feel her hot breath hit me square in the face. She took a step back before backhanding me. I stumbled to the ground as the tears began to fall. “Good for nothing bitch. You’re the reason your father left.” She said it like it was nothing. I sobbed more as I curled up into a ball and sobbed even harder. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled into the hard wood floor. “I’m sorry.”

            I wiped away the tears that fell from reliving that horrid memory before walking into the house. I quietly sat down to take off my shoes before walking up to my room and crashing onto my bed facedown. “I hate my life.” I screamed into a pillow. I turned my face when it became hard to breathe. “Things can’t get much worse.” I crawled under the covers hugging them close to my body before closing my eyes. Things were going to be different now. They had to be.

            I woke up the next morning to horses neighing and people yelling. “Oh my God,” I groaned slamming a pillow over my face. I managed to block out all the noise before feeling the pillow being ripped away. I flinched at the sudden movement looking like a deer in headlights.

            “Let’s go sleepyhead! We have shopping to do and horses to ride!” Tanya sang as she grabbed both my hands to pull me out of bed.

            I got to my feet and stumbled a bit before yawning and stretching. “It’s only eight in the morning.” I commented looking at my digital clock. Tanya laughed.

            “Get used to it darling!” She sang before closing the door to my room as she waltzed out. Usually if someone dragged me out of bed I’d go ape shit on their ass, but there was something about Tanya that made me relax. Maybe it was the fact she wasn’t my mom.