College Life

Chapter Thirteen

               I suddenly felt blinded, like I couldn't see the rest of the world. I only saw him. That question, that one question will be the cause of my heart attack. I got asked out by a straight guy who is more confused than my granny at a cat convention.

               My skin felt like it was being crawled by a thousand spiders. Not to mention that my stomach had another case of bug infection - butterflies.

               A straight guy never asks out another guy - specially a gay one at that. Jesse is serious, isn't he? Does he really need to find out what's going on in his head? Is dating me the solution? Well what about me? Where do I fit in this? What happens if he ends up hating it then he has to break up with me.

               I'm not sure how long I stayed silent, but I was thinking about it. I was thinking of the consequences, I was worried, not just for him but for me. I've never ever dated a guy before, I've been single all my life. I would have dated girls but I already knew I didn't like them when I came out of my mom.

               "Answer me, don't do that. It gets me all nervous," He said.

               "Why did you ask me that?" That was all I could say.

               "Because I admit, I'm curious."

               "You're the most confusing person I've ever met. You acted like a homophobic idiot and now you're asking me out on a date?"

               "I told you, you're different," He said sharply.

               "I'm still a guy, I'm no different."

               "Yes, you are. When I look at you, I don't feel disgusted. When you kissed me, I didn't feel disgusted. But when I look at other guys, I feel repulsed. So why not with you? Why is it different with you? Because you are different. And I want to try it."

               "You want to use me?" I raised a brow.

               "No! I don't want to use you at all."

               "It will feel like it when you break my heart."

               He sighed. "Ugh! Why does life have to be so complicated? Why can't we all just live happily ever after?!"

               "Because of confused people like you."

               "Ha, funny. Please just answer, would you like to go out with me?" This time he looked at me when he said it, but only because we were at a red light.

               I looked at both of his eyes, so beautiful. His right eye was blue, his left was hazel. Maybe they both stand for a different side of him. That would be a really nice metaphor for his personality - which is making me deranged.

               "Are you being serious about this? Most people would take a while to figure out what they want to do in terms of their sexuality."

               "I'm one hundred percent serious. And I want to do it now, because I don't want to lose you to someone else."

               "You aren't going to lose me, Jesse."

               "Are you sure about that? You're good looking, you just started school so you're going to meet a lot of people, specially gay men all over. And now you're going to be on a commercial, which is going to make you even more popular in the entertainment business, I'd lose you quickly."