Suicide Saved Me

Chapter 10 continued

"Ready?" She asked, grinning at me in the sunlight. Man, did she look amazing. I checked her out completely, for once letting her know, but Andrew's face developed in my mind and I sighed.

Suicide pulled a lock of her hair behind her ear and walked a few feet closer to me. I watched curiously as she took my hand in hers, holding her breath when she did so.

Her hand was soft and warm, like her cheeks, like her lips...

Uneasily, I looked out at the ocean to distract myself. I could feel her eyes on my face a second later.

"Are you okay?" she asked innocently.

I turned my head to stare at her angrily. "I hate this."

She blinked, clearly taken aback by my irritated tone.

I turned my body to face her and grabbed her shoulders gently, looking her dead in the eyes. She was about to push me away when I spoke up.

"We met on that bridge for a reason," I said softly.

She nodded in agreement. "So I could save your life."

"Don't bullshit me," I snapped. "We both know that's not it."

"I say it is," she kept her chin high, keeping eye-contact with me the whole time.

That was it. I didn't care if she threw me off of the cliff for doing it; I was going to say what I'd been dying to say since I'd met her on that bridge. I had every damn right to be my old cocky, man-whore self for at least a moment.

"Suicide, that night, you said yourself that you knew my name because...?" I allowed her to finish the sentence for me.

"Because..." she looked away, apparently remembering her words as well. She wasn't willing to say it, so I did for her, using a squeaky voice to imitate her.

"Because every girl at Beverly High falls for the King of the Kings at least once in her lifetime," I raised my eyebrows. "Am I right?"

"Yeah, so?" She shrugged. "It's true."

"If it's true," I lifted a hand and turned her face to meet her eyes, "then you're in love with me. Or at least you used to be once upon a time."

I allowed her to take my words in for a moment, but she didn't say anything. She looked back into my eyes with an expression so sorrowful and so unlike the always-smiling Suicide.

"Why is that such a terrible thing?" I wondered to myself. I removed my hands from her shoulders and backed away like she'd stabbed me with a knife, and looked out at the ocean.

"I get it," I mumbled. "You're with Andrew, and you like him, but..." I trailed off uncertainly. I didn't know what to say, and apparently neither did she.

She remained silent for so long I honestly thought she had jumped off of the cliff. I turned my gaze back onto her and she was staring at me, her expression the same as before. Only this time, she had tears in her eyes. Either that, or my eyes were playing tricks on me and making hers shine.

I reached out and stroked her cheek with my thumb soothingly. "I'm sorry. I'll stop."

She shook her head. "Carter—"

"No, Suicide," I interrupted her. "If you want Andrew, you say it. No games. No pretending."

"Carter, I want you to know that I think you're amazing and sweet," she raised one of her hands and placed it on top of the one I had resting on her cheek.

"But...?"

"No buts."

I looked down at her and she looked back into my eyes before looking at my lips.