The Pieces He Needs

Chapter five ↠

I step into the therapy room once again, my nerves running high. Ben looked cuter today; instead of wearing a suit he wore a black shirt and tight fitting jeans. I take a seat on the same chair I did the other day, trying to breath in a steady pace. I was more nervous that I was the first time; though I can't think of why.

"How are you feeling?" He questions. I swallow hard, trying to hide my nerves.

"Fine I guess, just a little nervous."

His lips curved upwards into a sweet smile, revealing his dimples and making his face even more handsome. He took a seat in front of me and rested his elbows upon his shoulders. "It's normal to be nervous."

I try to smile back, but instead I look down at my fiddling fingers and wait for him to continue. Today was the day that he would start asking me deep questions; questions about who I was and why I was here. I know I'll never get him to understand how worthless I am, though I've always got to give it a try.

"So lets continue where we left off" He shuffles through some papers on his messy desk until he finds his notebook, pulling it out and scribbling a few things in it, "Yesterday you said there was something wrong with you, what did you mean by that?"

This was a hard question to answer. It would mean I would have to open up to him about my past; and I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for that. All my life I had been called worthless, stupid, and pathetic; it was basically written in my DNA. But how was I supposed to get him to understand that?

"I was abused when I was a child." I murmur, looking up at him through my thick eyelashes. He waits for me to continue, "My dad, he wasn't a very nice guy, you know?"

He sighs, leaning back on his chair. He must've heard that story a thousand times. Every person that comes into this room to meet him must tell him the same story, about how they were abused and therefore are messed up in the head. I wonder if I should continue, considering I was boring him anyway. Telling him about my past was not going to help me, it would only bring back memories that I've been trying to keep hidden away.

"Would you like to continue?" He questions kindly, tilting his head slightly.

I shake my head no.

"Ok, how about this, what would you like to accomplish by coming to therapy?"

"I want to fix myself. I want to become a better person."

The way he looks at me indicates he's unsure about my answer to his question.

"How do you think therapy will achieve this?" He says, closing his notebook and putting his entire focus on me. I couldn't help but feel slightly un-comfortable.

"Well maybe if we can... I don't know... find the source of the problem? So that me and Sam can..."

I stop myself. Did I want Ben to know about my situation with Sam? Did I want him to know that if he fixes me than I can get married to him? I bite my lip nervously.

"So that you and Sam can what?" He questions reassuringly, smiling sweetly.

His smile was gorgeous, like a ray of sunshine across his face. His eyes wrinkled up and his one left dimple would pop up; it was beautiful.

"So me and Sam can get engaged. Once I'm fixed, he'll propose to me."

"Is that what he said?" His face changed to a look of concern.

"Well yeah, we both agreed on it."

His whole face was serious now, though I could tell he was trying to keep it professional. He opened up his notebook once again and started writing. I tried to take a look at what he was doing; though the only thing I could see was the date and the words 'Day two' written on the top of the page.

"Well that's the end of your second session." He sighs, looking up at me sadly; I can't help but wonder why.

He stands up from his chair and places the notebook back on the desk, causing a bunch of papers to come crashing to the ground. I stand up too, relaxing my muscles that I didn't even know were tense. We had gotten nowhere once again today; there was no way this therapy was helping. I walk towards the door, but Ben gets there first; opening it out for me. I smile at him one last time before heading down the corridor and out of the building. I needed some coffee.

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Okay so I know this was a really slow chapter so I apologise :/ If you guys are enjoying this story remember to go check out my other one, 'Trust me,' which I personally think is even better and its got heaps of cheesy romance hahaha :) Let me know what you guys think in the comments about the story so far and what I need to change! Love you heaps x

Gracie x