Second Class Citizen

Chapter 2

It's odd how a phone can force the world to become frighteningly small. As if my world entered on a single call. My phone was a compass, directing my every emotion. A beep had the power to stop my heart in anticipation. It was a miracle I didn't have an arrhythmia.

"Why do you keep checking your phone. If I didn't know any better I would think you where expecting a call for a new job." Said Donna, one of the secretaries at the law firm. We work alongside each other on the beck and call of lawyers above us. Donna called them the 'Powers that Be' and us their P.O.W's.

"I wish. I'm just checking the time." I lied, as my checks blushed red. I turned back to my work, trying to re-focus my scattered thoughts.

"Yeah right. Did some guy take you out on a date and say he would call? Don't even bother honey. Boys are immature little twigs that pretend to be real men." She said shaking her head.

I wish my challenge was trying to get a date and not a soul mate to call.

There used to be a time when my phone would buzz continuously. More than the lines of the uptight lawyers. Usually it was Lev complaining about his breakfast, lunch or any meal because it wasn't enough. Or it would be Lev asking me about what I was having for breakfast or any other meal. My inbox would be inundated with texts about his brothers, Arabelle's latest decor trend or about the magnitude of the utter boringness of his job. Now I would consider it fortunate if it my cell would ring.

"Donna I can't remember the last time I went out on a date. The thought of that is a rather strange concept." I replied back grimacing and the idea. My dates where always prone for awkwardness.

Donna was about to reply but my boss Mr Rotham called. Inwardly, I was relieved for the excuse to leave. If Donna had a few more moments then she would have tried to set me up with one of her cousins. The first few were decent guys but no connection or spark was there. They thought I was dull and naive. Borderline immature, due to me being a romantic at heart.

 As time went by Donna would graciously try to get me to find love or at least some distraction through a rotation of her family members. By the seventh I had started to scrap the bottom of the pile. Her last cousin Timothy was living with his mom. His parole officer wanted him to be supervised. A real catch.

After work, I had to stop by Lev's house. Not to see him but to drop of some forms Mr Rotham had for his brother David.

"Why don't you stay over for dinner?" Asked David calling me from the living room.

"Please. We haven't seen you in ages. I made my lasagna!" Said Jane, David's mate. The thought of passing up homemade, prizewinning lasagna for a microwave meal was a no brainer.

"Sure. I love too." I said, going into the kitchen to help her out.

Thirty minutes later the meal was ready and Jane called everyone down. We sat down to eat but there was a noticeable presence that was missing. Lev's spot was empty, despite him being upstairs. My mind rushed with reasons for him not wanting to come down. Was Lev upset? Thinking of Arabelle? Or was he working? Why wasn't he coming down? The family banter flowed easily, all the while a knot remained in the center of my stomach.

I felt like I was waiting to see the principal. Trying by all appearances to seem normal and unaffected. All the while I willing him to come down, to hang out with us. All because I wanted to see his face.

Jane and David continued to eat, catching up with the family and their day.

"Your exceptionally quiet tonight." Jane said as we were washing up.

"Just thinking about work." I lied. The lie was seamlessly, easy and quick. It was strange how many lies I was telling in the last year. All told to mask the truth of my emotions.

Maybe, if I lied enough I could believe it myself.

"You work too hard. Every time we see you lately you are only focused on work. You should get out more. Take some time off and go on a vacation. When was the last time you went on one?" She asked.

When everything was normal. A group of friends and I went to Mexico a few years ago. I spent most of the time with Arabelle and Lev. It was another lifetime ago.

Before I could ponder on my thoughts any longer I heard the familiar set of heavy footsteps climbing down the stairs. Lev's footsteps. Each one was solid, firm and consistent. Unwavering as his personality. It made me smile. I felt secure and happy when I heard them. The closer he came to the kitchen the more my heart started to flutter.

The hair on my arms rose up, covering my body in goose bumps. It was as if a magnet was pulling me to a source of something that would bring me joy. I knew I would feel at peace around him. His presence would calm the chaotic thoughts of my mind. The jumble confusion of my feelings would slip away, as if washed by the waves of the sea.

My compass was coming and my sense of direction was pulling all my attention to him.

"Hi guys." Lev said walking into the kitchen.

The breath I was holding, slowly released.

"Hi. I left you food in the microwave." Jane replied, focused acutely on the stubborn grime on a casserole pan.

"I didn't know you where here Katia. When did you come?" Lev asked, sniffing the food. He turned and place the plate back in to be heated

My heart sank. He really didn't notice my presence when I came in? Didn't he smell the new scent in the house?

"A- about a hour ago." I stuttered. I was grateful that his back was towards me. My cheeks blushed red  in mortification.

"Oh. Why didn't you guys call me? I would have come down for dinner." He asked.

"I did. But everyone knows you have the tendency to get stuck in whatever you are doing. You forget about the world around you." Said Jane back, suds splashing as she started on a pot.

I wondered if I would be able to ever hold his attention so strongly.

"Hmm. True. I'm trying to find a rare part for one of the cars that is being restored in the shop. Scouring the web for something that could work but no luck so far. " Said Lev. He grabbed a forkful of melted cheesy, lasagna and stuffed it into his mouth.

Great. A car part and lasagna was more interesting than me.

I began to wipe down the counters, trying to get my mind to stop running in circles. Guess my confusion was back.

"What are you doing on Friday Katia?" Lev asked nonchalant.

"Uhm. Nothing. Why?" I asked skeptically. Did he want me to drop him off at the bar again as his designated driver? Or maybe he wanted me to pick something for him.

"I'm having a party. I would love for you to be there." He said, smiling at me.

I froze. It was one of those times were my world halted. It was my brain. I honestly forgot how to speak. Not a single word could be formulate by me. A look of concern came over Lev's face.

"I know it's not really your thing. If you don't want to come I understand, but I would really appreciate it if you were there." He said, a brief look of sadness flooding his face.

"S-ssure." I stuttered back.

"Great! Oh man I don't know what I would do without you!" He said walking past me, his plate in one hand fork in another. He smiled and nudge me with his elbow. The faintest tingle, barely noticeable, lingered on.

"Great. It will do you well to get out of your headspace for a night. Who knows what will happen." Said Jane, her happiness for me beaming on her face.

I touched the side of my arm where the tingle was and couldn't help but smile.

Maybe after all this time, something would happen.