Recover (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter Sixteen; Home

"A tattoo is a true poetic creation, and is always more than what meets the eye. As a tattoo is grounded on living skin, so its essence emotes a poignancy unique to the mortal human condition." --V.Vale and Andrea Juno, Modern Primitives

I'd always been told that nothing was ever permanent. 

I guessed that was the reason why I'd always been reluctant to allow people in. If people were temporary and I ended up leaning on them all the time, I might get attached. If that happened, then when they left, I'd be heartbroken. If I did that, I'd be losing more people than ever.

But I guessed that the first time I let someone in, in years might I add, it turned out pretty okay. I lied, not okay, but perfect. I met the one person that I would be willing to do anything for. If he asked me to jump off a cliff or to jump in front of a bullet for him, I didn't think that I would hesitate. He was my one and only. He was my world. And most of all, though it was cliché, he was my savior.

I wanted to make him permanent. I was too young to get married, let's be honest, but there were different ways that I could make him permanent. To ever lose him would cause me so much pain. To heal would be a painful process. 

So I decided on getting a tattoo--of course Louis would too. A tattoo is painful to remove and it would be heartbreaking to let go of Louis. And that was the story of how I landed here in a tattoo parlour.

"What would you like for me to ink on you?" A woman in her late twenties asked me. Louis and I had decided on getting matching tattoos. For me, Louis was home and I wanted something that could explain that. 

"I'd like a ship," I replied, blushing when Louis leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. 

"I see, and does this have anything to do with your boyfriend?" She asked me, winking with a sly smile on her face.

"Well, yes." I couldn't stop blushing. My face was probably bright red by now.

"May I ask what it's supposed to mean?" She asked me. She brought the needle down to my arm and I winced in pain as the process of inking began. Louis held the hand of my opposite arm and kissed my forehead to smooth out the frown lines. 

"I'm a ship and Louis is my compass. Louis leads me home; he is my home. I'd never be lost with my compass. I don't know, does that help?" I couldn't explain it. I really couldn't. I felt like explaining it to someone else would be being disloyal to my true feelings on this tattoo. They would be intruding on something so delicate yet strong in my life.

Like how a captain would make sure that he had a compass on him to find his way home, I had Louis. When one feels lonely, they want nothing more than to be loved or find the feeling of home.

Even that, in my head, was a bad description on what this ship meant to me. 

"No, no. That makes complete sense. You guys are really dedicated to each other, aren't you?" She observed. Louis nodded and she smiled. "Well, then, I would have to say that you guys are really lucky. It's hard to find someone that you truly love and feel comfortable. Hold on to each other, okay?" 

I nodded and Louis nuzzled into my neck, kissing and biting softly at a soft patch of skin. I held on tighter to his hand and made sure that he couldn't let go. "I love Louis more than anything." 

"I love you too," he whispered in my ear. 

"So, when are you getting the tattoo, Louis?" 

"Probably after my interview. I have a big one coming up and it's my priority other than Harry. I need to make sure to look sharp. I can't have anything that they wouldn't approve. If I get a tattoo after, then they can't really say anything. I don't know. I'm just being cautious."