A Carnival Ride

Chapter 3: A Sad Occasion

Chapter 3: A Sad Occasion

Why here? Why here of all the places in the world. Why? Why the one place I hate the most. Why the place that holds every single fear molecule in my body. Suck it up Jessie. You are fine. You can get through this day. You are a strong girl. You got over your parents death, didn't you. Stupid me, if I got over their death, I wouldn’t be so scared now. I look over at Kevin and see a frown forming between his eyes. Smile. Smile. Ah here, I found a smile and I force a smile on to my face. He smile back, but his eyes are full of worry. Stupid! I can’t believe I am making this guy worry about me. Someone I only see at school. Someone I only met earlier today. Someone that could go tell everyone about the girl scared of carnival rides. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I start to walk behind Poppy as she walks to the ticket booth. Breathe Jessie. In and out. In and out. In and out. Poppy look back and wait for me to get to her. I smile and she hooks her arm through mine. Next to me I can feel she has this skip in her step. I can feel myself calm down a little as I feel the warmth of her arm against mine. You are okay. I really start feeling fine but I start hyperventilating again as we near the ticket booth. Chill you stupid girl it is just a ticket booth and everyone is here to keep you safe. Gregg is already there and looks back at us.

“How many tickets should I buy?” he asks looking like a little boy coming to the carnival for the first time. It almost makes me laugh, but sadly the knot in my tummy does not allow that.

“I’m not going on those things so just for you, Kevin and Jessie.” Poppy replies with a smile.

"Now who’s the baby now?" I hear Kevin say from behind me and Poppy turns to stick her tongue out at him.

“Ohm,” I start to say and decide to finish my sentence, “I don’t want to ride either. You and Kevin go on.”

“You sure, really Jessie go enjoy yourself. I am a chicken. Don’t stay just because of me.” Poppy say to me and give a little laugh as Kevin makes chicken wings next to me.

“Really, I don’t want to ride.” I say throwing her a smile. I am so glad she’s not going to, now I am free.  Now I don’t have to feel bad either. 

"We can go somewhere else if you want, Jessie." Gregg asks me. I see out of the corner of my eye that Kevin is making a sad face and Poppy hitting him against the head.

"No, go enjoy yourselves. I’ll keep Poppy company." I say laughing when Kevin do a little dance and run out of Poppy’s fist way.

"You sure?" Poppy ask and I nod my head. I can feel myself starting to enjoy myself being around them.

“Okay, twenty tickets for now.” Gregg says to the guy wearing a rainbow wig in the booth.

He gets the tickets and count ten out for Kevin and then both of them are gone.

“We would have chosen another place if we know you weren’t going to ride. I know you said it is fine, but still.” Poppy say next to me, still with our arms hooked.

“No, it’s really fine. Gregg looks like he will enjoy it.” I say and laugh.

My laugh sounds fake. So I stop mid-laugh and Poppy hear it too.

“You want some cotton candy?” Poppy asks as we walk past a cotton candy cart.

“Sure.” I say.

“What colour? I always take blue, because having a pink tongue is so overrated.” She says and laughs.

“I know right. I totally agree, so blue for me too. I thought I was the only one that thought that.” I say and I laugh, this time a real laugh. I guess cotton candy can fix everything.