Looking into Misty Eyes

Chapter 17 ~ gossip one-sided meltdown

Chapter 17

“We already went over this,” I say pointing to the diagram of a crows internal organ.

Marks sullen face stares at the image.

I sigh and cover the page with my arms, “ok what’s going on?”

He looks up at me and gives a lopsided grin, “Marly has been a bit off lately…”

I feel a bucket of guilt poor down my spine making me shiver, “oh… do-do you have any idea as to why?”

“I think her brother is just getting on her nerves but I don’t know, there seems to be something else, like I just feel…” his vulnerable gaze goes from soft to stone cold and he rubs his hand through his already messy hair, “never mind it’s nothing, you don’t want to hear it.”

But I did… 

I kind of had the instinct to hold his hand in comfort but I decided to be civil,

He’s Marlys boyfriend. Marlys. Not yours. I looked away from Mark, I don’t want him as a boyfriend, what’s wrong with me?!

“If you want we can have a break, maybe you’re more productive when it’s the afternoon. Or maybe you just need some food, let’s go get some dinner.”

I couldn’t believe what I was saying and apparently neither could Mark as his glum expression turned into a devilish smirk.

“Are you asking me on a date Anna?” I faltered.

He burst into laughter and I felt my cheeks warm up, “oh god you’re so fun to torment! I don’t know how you can be so innocent!”

I felt like I was back at Julies party, which made me think of Ties party…

I leaned away from Mark in embarrassment “I didn’t-I, I was just thinking… I thought it might help you,” instead of feeling sorry for me he continued to laugh.

“Oh lighten up little one,” he suggested despite being the one to have seemed so down two seconds ago, “you can’t say you don’t find it even the slightest bit amusing that you kind of just asked me out for dinner.”

He chuckled some more and as he predicted my lips couldn’t stay in a scowl. The sound of his happiness carried and I found myself silently laughing as well.

A gurgling broke into the moment and both our eyes landed on Marks blue shirt.

I let out a giggle, “ok you definitely need some dinner, and it’s not a date. It’s just for the brain,” I reached across the small table and tapped Marks head with my pen and then we both laughed again. It felt good to be around him like this.  

In the end we agreed to invite Marly and Pire because it was a bit wrong to go out without others, we just didn’t say why out loud.

Marly was easy to find and so was her brother, they were yelling at each other in our dorm when I went to get my purse.

Mark broke their argument up and I found myself watching the way he could just make everything better.

I blinked back my admiration straight away though.

We chose a crummy diner a few blocks down from the college to ‘try something new’ and in our tight budgets. It felt weird being with only three others with the underlining tensions that riddled my thoughts.

The main thing that I couldn’t stop thinking about, was my feelings toward Marlys boyfriend, but luckily that was one that only echoed within the walls of my head.

But the new arrival of Pire had introduced an awfully obnoxious tension, even after Marks calm authority to separate the fight they were in before going out for dinner.

Pires’ toned form crumpled like a bear on a unicycle, his frame slightly turned away from the rest of us. I could smell the faint fumes of Tabaco and he was next to me.

To say I felt awkward was an under-statement and after the uplifting tutoring session with Mark my spark died out watching the very evident connection Marly had with him.

We ordered a starter of wedges and I ate two, then gave up seeing as everyone else wanted to eat like a frenzy of seagulls.

I stared out the window a blanket of rain spitting at the glass at a steady rate.

“They say we’ll be waiting until February next year until we get snow,” the gravelly voice of Pire spoke over my shoulder.

I refocused my eyes on the window to find the reflection of Marlys brother also looking out, maybe having noticed my disposal of interest. I slowly turned back around and glanced at him feeling even more uncomfortable.

Mark said something that made Marly laugh and I missed it trying to lean away from the stink of Pires grey shirt.

“Hey Anna,” Marly suddenly interjects. I look up, her hair in a messy yet stylised tangle of curls. “I need to use the bathroom,” she announces and as every girl who is friends with Marly or shares the same dorm as her I knew that it was code for going to a gossip one-sided meltdown.

I inwardly sighed and got up following her to the ladies room.

The moment the door shut she burst into a sob, if there had been something off going on with her I hadn’t really noticed until now.

“My life is falling apart Anna,” she begun sniffling in a display of despair, “-and Pire has just unravelled all those memories I tried to push back.”

I felt my neck tense up, here we go.

“Talk it out,” I tried to sooth, cringing at the sound of a flushing toilet. Apparently the presence of a stranger didn’t faze Marly though.

“Promise not to tell anyone this, but I’m actually not even remotely rich. I don’t have a dollar to spare, and-and Pire, he’s just the living, walking, breathing evidence of that!” I couldn’t agree that Pire was any of those things… maybe an un-dead, swaying, wheezing person but not what she said.

 Marly splays her gold nail polished fingers on the sink and stares at herself in the mirror with big eyes.

The stall that had someone in it opens, and a lady walks out, her dull expression showing that she has no interest in our conversation. She makes a quick escape using hand sanitizer instead of waiting for a tap of water and dry paper towels to do the work.

“I hate to say it but I wish Pire would go away. He’s in one of his unfortunate self-destructive moods, and I can’t say he’ll get out of it this time.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, you’ll get past it.” I try, her eyes snap from her reflection to me in a fiery swift movement.

I fight the racing of my heart and fear clouding my ability to speak.

“Sorry… I forgot how you are,” she says bluntly.

I feel like I’ve been slapped but all I manage to do is smile at her feeling like my eyebrows might form into one as they knit together.

She shakes her head, takes a deep breath and runs a finger under each eye carefully.   

“I’m sorry,” I whisper feeling incredibly out of my comfort zone.

“I know you are,” she gushes, “I think it’s just something that you wouldn’t understand with…” the words how you are hang in the air and I shut my eyes and blink, “I’m always here for you but you have to calm down.”

She smiles and I can tell it’s fake but I don’t complain because I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

“I’m calm. I’m ok,” I don’t know who she’s trying to convince but I pick up on the mood and try to be more useful, “if you like I can get Mark and we can go home…”

The idea of Mark in the girls toilets is almost too easy to imagine so I’m glad when she laughs at the idea. “No it’s ok, let’s go eat I’m craving chicken parmesan.”

-Relieved to have that episode over we leave to find the boys having a very energetic conversation.

This night is so awkward I think to myself.