Chapter 8 - The Letter

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It’s taken me a while to sort out my plan, but now everything is organised perfectly.

It’s Sunday and the boys are all dressed up to perform on the X Factor’s result show.

They’re going to be out of the house all day, so now is time to make my move.

“Cassie? You ready?” I hear Harry shout from the bottom of the stairs. I pretend to struggle to speak so Harry has to rush upstairs to be able to hear me.

“I’m, er, not feeling too well…I’m-” I cough for effect, “I’m sure you can do without me for a night.”

“You sure?” Niall asks when he appears at the top of the stairs, followed by the other three, all looking worried.

“We can stay, you know…” Liam suggests, but we all know that won’t happen. I laugh and shake my head. I shiver a little and take a sip of my scorching hot tea for emphasis. Louis and Zayn back away even further onto the landing.

“No, you can’t do that. Honestly, I’m fine. Go!” I laugh shakily.

“Alright…well, get better soon.” Harry says as they all leave. When he reaches the door I get the feeling that he was about to run back to me and tell me something stupid like ‘You’re more important!’ to which I’d reply, “Haha! Don’t be daft!” and then he’d sit with me watching old films until I was better…but that doesn’t happen. He just waves and stomps down the stairs. 

Sinking back into bed I hide my face.

I hear the front door click shut and then the doors outside swing closed. I wait two seconds before flinging my duvet onto the floor and jumping up. I start throwing my clothes into my suitcase, thinking that I can do some ironing later.

Once that’s sorted I key a number into my mobile and push the ‘call’ button.

“Hello, Alistair McKenzie speaking,” says the man on the other end.

“Hi, Alistair, it’s me, Cassandra Hope. We spoke earlier this week about a replacement?” I say, shaking, though that has nothing to do with my fake illness.

“Ah, yes!” he says delighted, “Is the position open, then?”

“The assistant job? You can start tomorrow,” I reply.

“Excellent!”

One hour later the lounge has been taken over by the contents of my bedroom. My clothes have all been placed into my suitcase with my shoes and hats squished down the sides. Books, ornaments, picture frames, have all been put into another suitcase. The remainder of my possessions have been shoved into a large gym bag, apart from my duvet that is strung over the back of the couch.

None of my things are left anywhere else. My room, obviously, is empty. Any clothes that had been washed or were drying have already been packed. Even my old magazines that were stacked a mile high on the kitchen table have been recycled.

There isn’t a trace of me.

I have to leave now. If I don’t I know I’ll break down crying and be rooted to the spot.

I’d told Olivia and Sofia about my plan, so Sofia said she’d pick me up today. A text message that I receive tells me she should be here in about ten minutes. I take this as my cue to say my goodbyes.

Upstairs on my bed I had left only three things; a pen, a piece of paper and a large light brown envelope. I pick up the paper and begin to write:

Dear boys,

I’m sorry that I’ve resorted to this and lying to you all, but I had to.

My mum rang me this morning telling me that my granddad has been taken to hospital, so Sofia and me are going to visit him.

This isn’t true. My granddad is perfectly fine, but I need some excuse that doesn’t include the word ‘Gwen’. I’ve already spoken to Sofia about that too and she’s agreed to bend the truth.

I’m not sure how long I’ll be away for, but I’ve already sorted things out and organised my own replacement. You know him, it’s Alistair, and I’ve already told him everything, so he’ll arrive tomorrow morning to take you to you’re appointment with the boss.

It’s true that they know Alistair – he was one of the Judges' many assistant on the show. They probably won’t be too pleased with this though, but I have already warned Alistair that the boys may be a little less friendly than usual.

I feel bad that I’m just leaving you all alone with some new guy, and won’t be able to clean up after you (yes, you have to do the cleaning!), so I thought I’d leave a kind of present for you.

Don’t get exited, it’s nothing special. It’s just a bunch of photos I found. 

Just in case…you ever forget me.

It takes me a while to decide on an ending. ‘Love you guys’? I do, obviously, but should I use that word in this case? ‘See you soon’? Probably not true. ‘Love from’? No.

From Cassie x

I leave the letter neatly folded in the middle of my bare bed.

The photographs had been secretly stuffed away in the corner one of my desk drawers and I pull them out now for the first time too look through them properly.

I had chosen any photos of me and the boys (that didn’t make me look like a fat-faced horse), or just pictures that reminded me of moments we had shared together.

I found some pictures of us at the beach in Marbella, of Harry and Niall throwing me into the blue. There are also many of the boys backstage on the show, usually accompanied by Aiden, who was usually glued to Matt.

Several of them are from days out recently. When we went to the park to play football (I was so useless. Louis got slightly frustrated because I was un-teachable); when we went bowling; moving into the new house; even one of Harry asleep on the floor because he was too lazy to walk upstairs.

Thousands of memories tucked into one tiny packet.

A car horn blasts its way through the beautiful silence, snapping me from my personal heaven. Carefully placing the photographs into the envelope I sigh and throw the package onto the bed.

I have trouble tearing my eyes away from my empty bedroom and tumbling carelessly down the stairs, but I can’t back out now.

Hauling my suitcases out of the door, Sofia throws me a sympathetic look, sighing to herself though she still looks lost in Aiden-land.

“You okay, Cass?” she asks as I slide into the passenger seat.

“Perfectly fine!” I reply happily, after wiping my face with my sleeves before she can see.

I know she won’t believe me, but I hope the rest of the family does. I hadn’t told any of my other family members what had happened. I had just told them that I was home sick and wanted to go back for a few months. Luckily, they seemed to believe me and didn’t ask any questions.

“Let’s go!” I prompt her.

We quickly ride off the pavement and off, home.

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