Star Trek Voyager: Consequences

Star Trek Voyager: Consequences 20. Hate and Fear

A/n: Flashbacks are in italics.

Seven’s gaze thoughtfully travelled up from her plain black pumps to the long, uninspiring navy skirt and simple white blouse, she hoped this was what the prosecutor had meant when he’d advised her to wear something modest, trustworthy looking more like, she thought bitterly, so that the jurors don’t think I was asking for it with my clothing… The schoolmarm outfit did nothing to disguise her implants though, painfully obvious as ever protruding from her pale skin. Slowly she ran one finger from the tip of her implant at the base of her ear to her collar bone, her other hand resting on the evidential photograph of her sliced open face. At that moment the healed skin was forgotten and she saw her bloodied face in the mirror and could feel her nerves screaming in pain. Closing her eyes, the images faded and she distractedly fingered the string of pearls fastened around her neck, her mother’s pearls. Her Aunt Irene had given them to her the day before with the words, “They’re always with you Annika, in sprit. Remember them and be as proud of what you’ve achieved as they would be.”

“Mama?”

Erin Hansen turned her face away from her dressing table’s mirror to look at her three year old daughter standing in the doorway. “Yes baby?” she asked, opening her arms as the little girl ran over wordlessly, pulling her into her lap and turning back towards the mirror to continue fixing her hair.

“Pretty…” Annika murmured as she ran her fingers over the pearls around her mother’s neck.

“They are aren’t they?” Erin agreed softly as she stroked the girl’s gold hair cascading, Rapunzel like, down her back. “When you’re a big girl, I’ll give you a necklace like this.”

Annika’s face brightened momentarily in hope before a serious expression settled on her face again. “Mama, where are you and Papa going today?”

Erin gulped slightly, “We’re going in front of Starfleet Sciences Board of Governors…to resign.”

“Why?” Annika pressed insistently.

“Well, because they won’t let us study the Borg like they want to, so your Papa and I decided to do it without them.”

Annika considered this, her arms tightening fearfully around her mother’s waist, “Jacob told me everyone hates the Borg, because they ass…assimmi…”

“Assimilate.” Erin corrected.

“Ah…sim…mil…late…” Annika sounded out, “Because they assimilate people and then they’re gone.” She gave a strangled whimper and pressed her face into her mother’s neck, “I don’t want people to hate us too Mama…”

Erin hugged her tightly and smiled reassuringly into her small face, “No one could hate you my angel, ever.” She sighed heavily, “People hate what they don’t understand, that’s why what we’re doing is so important. When we get back we’ll be able to teach people about the Borg. We may even be able to use our research to help drones go back to their families…” She trailed off and bit her lip, “Do you understand now Anni baby?”

Annika nodded vigorously, “Yes Mama. I’m going to make friends with a drone and then teach everyone to love them instead, they’re people too!” she exclaimed with childish certainty.

Erin smiled at her lovingly, “Yes sweetheart, I’m sure you will.”

Tears brimmed at her eyes as the memory, as clear as if it had happened yesterday, left her as quickly as it had come. Suddenly she longed for her mother’s presence, to hug her and tell her she wasn’t hated and never would be, but that was just it, she was. Instead of facing people’s judgements and changing them with her story, she’d ignored the problem, and then it had boiled over. She’d seen the hate in their eyes as they did it, in a way that had been worse than the action itself, how could she expect any different from the judge and jury?

Chakotay exhaled heavily as he stepped out of the hotel room’s bathroom, giving himself a shake to try and bring the relaxation the hot shower hadn’t given him. Despite his efforts, he knew he wouldn’t relax, not today anyway. His brow furrowed as he saw Seven sitting at the dressing table with her back to him, as pale and unmoving as a marble statute. He cleared his throat, wishing that they, she, didn’t have to do this. He felt as if he was escorting her to her execution. “Are you almost ready to go love?” he asked as gently as he could. Seven gave a start at the sound of his voice and snatched up a hairbrush, dragging it through her hair as if she were determined to rip it out. “Seven?” he repeated unhappily.

She continued with the manic brushing, haunted by the night the same hair had been matted with blood and disturbingly finding she was enjoying the slight pain, it was something to focus on. Still Chakotay’s anxious, empathic eyes drew hers, and she heard her own voice, shaky and broken, “I…I can’t do this…”

Chakotay was on his knees beside her in an instant, putting his warm hands comfortingly on her knees, “You can Seven. I wish you didn’t have to, but after this trial is over, they’ll be gone and…” He stopped and pulled the hairbrush from her hands firmly, taking a tight hold of both her hands. “Listen to me, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, you’ll get through this.” He bent and kissed the backs of her hands, “We’ll get through this…”

Seven gulped hard, running her fingers over the blue lines of his tattoo affectionately before sighing heavily, “I know, but maybe it doesn’t matter about…them. Either way, I’m still going to have to live with…” Her voice cracked before growing more shrill, “Why should I ruin my reputation ever further, be humiliated, distrusted…”

“Because they deserve it!” Chakotay growled.

Seven shook her head, “It’s…it’s partly my fault…” She heard him about to reply but continued, “Maybe if my past with the Borg wasn’t so hateful, they wouldn’t have taken their rage out on me in…in that way… Maybe their families were assimilated, or their lovers or friends…”

Chakotay jerked upright, his voice a visceral snarl, “And if that were the case, and instead of you their loved were freed, would they want them being attacked and violated in this way? No!” He twisted away from her, frustrated with her despite himself. “God Seven, we’ve been through this! You have nothing to feel guilty about, it’s all their fault that you’re feeling this way…”

Seven leaned forward and buried her face in her hands, failing to choke back her sobs. “They…they hated me so much…I must have done something…I can’t understand…”

Chakotay shook his head into her shoulder as he embraced her again, “No…no…” He pulled her back slightly to look at her, “You did nothing, no woman has ever deserved that throughout the centuries. Those men, if it hadn’t been you, it would’ve been the woman who turned down their chat up lines or just been standing alone and vulnerable, that evil is just in them.”

Seven’s silence as she clung to him told him somehow that she had taken in what he said. “I have to…stop them…if they’d really do it again then…” Tears streamed down her face as she pulled back from him, “I don’t have a choice in this. Let’s go.”

A/n: Please review. I hope the mother/daughter flashback was appropriate for this chapter. I hope it was in character as this was an upsetting chapter to write.