Star Trek Voyager: Consequences

Star Trek Voyager: Consequences 14. Contemplation and Decisions

Seven restlessly pushed a strand of hair behind her hair as she walked nervously into the kitchen, feeling relief wash over her when she found it empty and pleasantly sun drenched, pausing by the small window and allowing her pale skin to soak in the warmth of Vulcan’s morning sun. She sighed and rubbed her hand slowly over the dried tear tracks of the night before, casting a furtive glance at the unmoving door which she knew Chakotay slept behind. It felt like a lifetime since she’d allowed herself even the smallest pause for thought, to consider, and grieve over, what had happened to her. She had pushed herself to breaking point, beyond that even, only to be dragged to a stop by the one person she had hoped would never catch her, never discover what had happened to her, and yet he had been her saving grace in the end… She swallowed hard, no it wasn’t over, there was still much to be desired, still so many unknown factors… Her knuckles turned white as she thought of the night before and her anger turned inward, why did she have such a tendency to give into her impulses where he was concerned? It hadn’t been right to kiss him, even that admittedly chaste peck of gratitude could lead to eventualities which confused and worried her, what if she was too damaged to give him all he deserved? Even he could only be so patient…

These thoughts were interrupted by her own loudly growling stomach and she practically jumped in surprise, her appetite had abandoned her weeks ago and yet this morning here she was starving. Quickly scanning the kitchen, she listed her options in her mind and began to programme a replicator and set out her cooking utensils, before pausing and staring wide eyed at the bedroom door, perhaps she should wake him and ask him what he wanted? She walked shakily over to the door but before she’d raised her hand halfway to knock it fell back to her side, she didn’t feel quite that brave yet.

Chakotay’s eyes creaked painfully open, his head throbbing from an unsettled and anxious sleep. For a few seconds confusion reined as he struggled to remember why he was in the unfamiliar room but when his memory returned he bolted upright. “Oh God…” He groaned heavily, pressing his hand to his forehead as he was again hit by all the emotional turmoil of the day before. “Seven…” He started to call worriedly but stopped as a delicious smell merged with his senses and cautious hope replaced anxiety. If she’s cooking she must be feeling a little better, he decided as he got out of bed and dressed hurriedly.

Neither his senses or his hopes had deceived him as he entered the kitchen to see Seven bent over a huge mixing bowl on the worktop, a first batch of pancakes already sizzling on the small stove and a relaxed, if obviously unconscious, smile on Seven’s face as she remained oblivious to him, happily absorbed in her activity. He silently watched her for longer than he would admit, before finally murmuring at her back, “Good morning.”

Seven’s head whipped sharply around, almost dropping the spoon she was holding as a slight blush diffused her face, memories of the day before clouding her brain, before hurriedly turning back to the stove. “Good morning. I…I’m making pancakes…” She felt her cheeks begin to warm again as she saw him begin to smile, “But I can prepare you something else if you wish…”

“Pancakes are great.” He reassured gently but cringed as his words created a gaping void in the conversation and he grasped desperately around for something to say. “Is it time to flip them yet?” He asked suddenly, referring to the pancakes and getting a surprised look from Seven. “It’s just that my mother always said there was a special knack to it…” He explained in a clumsy rush, his tongue tripping over itself in embarrassment.

Seven couldn’t stop her eyebrows from shooting up. “Did she teach you this…knack? She questioned.

Not sure whether she was teasing him or not, Chakotay chuckled sheepishly, “She tried at some point I suppose.”

Seven stepped aside with a wave of her hand. “Be my guest.” She said, feeling a smile creep across her face again as she saw his deer in a headlights expression.

“Uh…sure.” He muttered in trepidation, nervously gripping the handle of the frying pan. “Okay…” He began, glancing at her curious face before seeing that the pancakes were burning and quickly jerking them into the air, lunging after them long after they’d hit the floor. Staring at the mess on the floor he felt a wide smile form on his lips as he became aware of Seven stifling surprisingly girlish laughter. “I guess I didn’t inherit Mom’s talent…” He conceded as he began to laugh himself.

Seven bit back more laughter, “No, no… You just need…more practice. Watch me.” She took the pan from him, poured more batter onto the pan, waited for the right time and then skilfully tossed and caught them. “Now you try.”

“Okay…” He agreed without much confidence, again taking the frying pan.

Seven shook her head, frowning. “No.” She instructed, putting her hand over his to guide him before pulling back suddenly as her skin tingled and she flushed brightly at her presumption.

It took a few seconds for her actions to sink in with Chakotay and he gently took her hand and pulled her back towards him. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” He murmured firmly before adding in a lighter tone, “Show me. You don’t want another mess on the floor do you?” Seven smiled nervously and the air cleared, both of them later enjoying a breakfast of delicious, if oddly shaped, pancakes together.

Their days fell into a routine, the awkwardness gradually falling away but they were both careful to take each day as it came; fragility was not a new thing to either of them. It was on a morning much like that first one, nearly two weeks into Chakotay’s unexpected visit, that Seven finally felt comfortable enough to ask him something that had been bothering her. “Your leave from the University must almost be at an end?” she enquired with quiet sadness as they sat down at the table.

Chakotay gulped, he’d been dreading this subject coming up. “In a couple of days.” He admitted quietly. Reading her shocked expression, he explained, “I’m not losing the job by staying here though, I can start next term…”

“You shouldn’t have to!” She blurted out hotly, failing to keep the guilt ridden horror she was experiencing from her face. “You can’t just put such a dream job off because you’re concerned about…”  She stopped abruptly, her cheeks flushed with agitation, her eyes flashing at him in frustration as she jumped emphatically to her feet.

Chakotay looked up at her as levelly as he could. “There are more important things in life Seven. I gave my life over to my work for too many years not to realise that now.”

Seven felt her confidence in her anger at him begin to waver at the implacable conviction in his voice and fear began to replace it, for as much as she dreaded him leaving, she also didn’t want to be selfish, in fact she prided herself in not being so. Her hands began to twist anxiously as she thought about solutions and her words came jerkily, “My work is concluding here, in fact the Vulcans are desperate to take full control, perhaps…” She gulped under his intense, even hopeful gaze, and took a deep breath, “Perhaps I could…try to get a trial position in Lima, do you think they’d allow me to…

“Yes!” Chakotay exclaimed passionately before forcing himself to calm down slightly as her expression became startled, “I’d…” He corrected himself for the sake of simplicity, “They’d love to have you, I’m sure of it.”