When I stopped caring about myself, I stopped caring about every aspect of myself.
It was a slow process.
Hard to notice.
I went from straight As to Bs.
Mom noticed when they hit Cs.
She assumed I didn't get it.
I got the material.
I didn't get the point.
She hired me a tutor anyway. His name was Reece.
I never listened to him.
I sat there in the library, drumming my fingers on the table as he droned on about synthetic division. Or maybe it was the Cold War.
I didn't care which.
He asked if I would excuse him for a minute, then got up from the table and left.
He came back with my favorite book.
Amy & Roger's Epic Detour
He asked me if I'd tell him my favorite part.
I read:
"I'd told them repeatedly I wanted to be left alone, and clearly they had listened. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. I'd found out that if you pushed people away hard enough, they tended to go. "
He didn't say anything.
He just looked at me sadly.
I could tell he understood.
He set the book aside and returned to the topic he had been discussing before. It turned out to be mitosis.
As he rambled, I wrote a letter.
Reece,
Will you please try and make it to my funeral? It will be near the end of December of this year.
R.S.V.P. to my mother.
Goodbye,
Caitlyn
P.S. I didn't learn anything from you about school. But I learned a lot about people. Thank you for being patient with me.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
R.S.V.P.
Kısa Hikaye"Cait, why do you spend so much time in your room," my mother asked, "why don't you hang out with your friends anymore?" "Just tying to minimize the damage," I thought ** At sixteen, Caitlyn Ellis has decided to kill herself. She's made up her mind...
