Such a strange thing hope is

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Me and Ruby had been getting closer, we would talk to each other at the beginning of school before heading to our form rooms, we would spend most lunches together in the library or outside. We both hated the canteen and it's abilities to make you feel like you don't belong. Surrounded by cliques and gangs.

it would be safe to say that me and Ruby were friends and it didn't feel like a burden that i'd imagined teen friendship to be, it felt comforting.

Today I had been invited to her house, at first I wasn't sure whether to accept her invitation because I wasn't going to invite her to my house, because I was definitely not ready for anyone to see how broken my family was.
But I accepted her invitation, and now I was regretting another one of my decisions.
What if her mum answered the door and didn't like me?
What if they were having dinner and I interrupted them?
What if they were a perfect family that, as soon as I walked in,  would sense my broken-ness and kick me out?!
Okay, Willow. That was too much.

I let out a long breathe and rubbed my clammy hands together, I had no idea how they had turned sweaty. It was freezing.

I rang the door bell.

No-one answered

I waited

And Waited

I rang the door bell again

And finally the door opened and there stood Ruby looking more decomposed than usual. Her cheeks were red and her eyes bloodshot. Her eyes widened when she saw me.

I smiled at her sheepishly and waved.

"Oh! I completely forgot you were coming over, I'm so sorry, I look like a mess and everything...its just my stupid br- my stupid school work...it's uh driving me insane! come in Willow, you're going to turn into a snowman out there!"

She was acting like how she acted the first day we met, she's stuttering. Somethings happened. She's also mumbling more than usual. And what was she going to say before she stopped herself?

I walked through her doorway and took my shoes off before placing them on the side along with five other sets.

"Hey Ruby, are you okay?" I should have asked but no. I just kept quiet, being the good friend I am, and followed her up the stairs.

"So how's life?" Ruby asked me after she shut the door to her room.

"Life is life. Not good, not bad. Just life." I said nonchalantly as I looked around her room. It was a question I had been asked by multiple therapists and psychiatrists since the accident so the answer had been rehearsed a couple 100 times verbally and another thousand mentally. The thing is, with these questions, everyone always wants a positive reply.

'Yeah, Life's great'

'I'm Good'

or the worst of all

'I'm Fine'

"Willow?" My head snapped towards the voice. It was Ruby.

Well no, It was the Joker

"Yep." I replied. She gave me a pointed look.

"You zoned off...again" She said rolling her eyes, but the corners of her mouth twitched upwards and I knew she was joking.

"Sorry, did you say anything?" I said.

She opened her mouth to say something but then shuts it again and shakes her head.

"It doesn't matter, i was just being awkward...as usual" She looked down at her hands, they were twitching ever so slightly. So slightly that you wouldn't have been able to tell if they were twitching at all if you weren't paying close attention.

Willow, say something. it's obvious she's upset about something.

I was suffocating in the awkwardness that filled the room. It filled my lungs and I felt faint.

I cleared my thought and mentally wafted the awkwardness from in front of my face.

"So should we...watch a movie?" I asked.

You are completely useless Willow, and you wonder why people don't want to be your friend.

"Yeah, okay, got any suggestions?" And just like that, the air cleared.