CRIMINAL.

CHAPTER 14

I wake up to the sound of a door slamming shut and I open my eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness. The lights are off, but the curtains aren't drawn, causing the moonlight to shine a silver light on the bed.

I slip deeper into the sheets, taking in the coolness of them and savoring the comforting smell of cigarette smoke and cologne. I reach out my hand for Ricky, wanting to feel him next to me since this is his bed, but all I feel is emptiness.

I sit up in my head, feeling the space next to me. It's still warm which means Ricky only got up a while ago. He probably went to the bathroom since I hear a door down the hall slam shut. I roll over, engulfing myself in the warmth of his body, the smell of him trapped in the sheets along with the sharp smell of weed.

I suddenly hear footsteps and freeze, squeezing my eyes shut, even though I know it's probably Ricky. I open one of my eyes and look towards the doorway. I see a figure standing there in the hallway, but it's too dark to see who it is.

"Ricky?" I ask, sitting up now. He stumbles in, swaying to the left completely before collapsing onto the bed. I see him crawling towards me, slowly, like an animal stalking its prey. "Ricky, what are you doing?" I ask, almost giggling. I've heard from the guys that he can get like this when he's drunk; wild, unpredictable; but I've never seen it happen for myself.

It's thrilling.

It's...sexy.

His hand falls into the space where the moonlight shines dimly and leans in, the moonlight shining on his face. And in that moment, I know that it's not Ricky. It's Josh.

I feel him take my hand and squeeze it so hard it takes my breath away.

"What are you-?" I begin to say, but then his lips are on mine. His palms are rough against my skin, gripping my forearms so hard I'm sure he'll leave bruises.

This feels wrong.

Terribly, terribly wrong.

"Stop," I breath out. "Get off." But his mouth silences me. I can taste the bitter rot of alcohol and weed on his tongue. I can feel the thick slime of his mouth coating my chin.

That's when I decide that he's going too far.

I start fighting.

My hands land against his chest, but he grips me closer. He runs his hands down my body, kissing my neck when, suddenly, he stops and puts his left hand on my breast, squeezing it. I feel an electric, hot zip of anger run through me and a kneel him the groin when a grunt as I squeeze my knee up between his legs. He gasps, his hot breath coming out in a rush as he hunches over and falls on the bed, cupping his groin.

I kick the sheets away frantically and scramble out of the bed, running towards the door on shaky legs.

I start down the dark hallway, gasping, feeling tears run down my face in a hot rush. I don't even realize I'm running straight into someone until it's too late. I collide into their chest and their arms close around me, causing me to scream.

Then I smell cigarette smoke and cologne in the air and relax a bit.

"Kate," Ricky says. "What's wrong? What's the matter?"

The light in the hallway switches on and I squint, my tears causing my vision to be blurry.

Ricky's eyebrows knit together when he sees my tear-streaked cheeks.

"Kate, baby girl, what's wrong?" he asks in such a gentle voice that it makes me sob a bit. "What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

I can't speak. I try to, but all that comes out is a hoarse, croaking sound.

More tears fall and I lower my head, wanting to curl up into a ball and cry until I can't anymore.

"Kate," Ricky says, sternly now and cupping my face in both of his hands. "What's wrong?"

Almost on cue, I hear Josh stumble out of the bedroom, knocking over the table next to it. I hear the vase on it crash to the floor, the sound of water leaking on the hardwood floor filling my ears.

"What the hell?"

Ricky's face is twisted in confusion and slight anger now as he looks up at his brother. "Josh, what the hell are you doing in my room?"

"Having some fun," Josh slurs, wiping his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Ricky asks.

"You know what I mean," Josh says. "Having some fun with your girl here."

"What?" Ricky growls, pushing me behind him, blocking my complete view of Josh.

I hear a door creak open, and Jackie and Nicki are running towards me. "What happened?" Jackie asks. "We heard a scream."

Suddenly, everyone comes out of their rooms and from downstairs, asking me questions and then falling silent as they watch the scene before them.

"What the hell do you mean having fun with Kate?" Ricky growls. I can see a vein pulsing in his neck.

Josh laughs. "God, you are such a retard!" he exclaims. "You know what I mean, Ricky! Sex!"

Ricky turns to me, his face mixed with anger, confusion, and hurt. "You had sex with Josh?" he asks in a voice so hurt it makes my heart break. "No!" I say loudly. "No, Ricky! I would never do that!"

"We were going to right up until she kneed me in the balls," Josh says. "She was just playing hard to get."

"No, Ricky!" I nearly scream. "Please don't listen to him. Please don't."

"She wanted to be with me," Josh says over me, stalking towards Ricky. "Why do you think she was sitting with me before? Why do you thinks she was talking to me? Smiling at me? Putting her hand on mine? She wanted me, Ricky. Not you. Me."

Ricky turns to me, his face wrought with confusion and hurt. "Is that true?" he asks, his eyes on mine. I can't speak. I don't try to. Why would I say?

"Yeah, it's true!" Josh jumps in. "She loves me." He turns to me, his eyes wild and hungry. "You know you do."

"Josh, stop," Jessie says, showing up beside me. "You're drunk."

"So?" he says. "I don't give a shit about that!"

He turns to Ricky now, who's fists are clenched now, his face red with anger.

"Aw, is little Ricky mad?" Josh mocks. "What, you gonna punch me?"

"Shut up, Josh," Ricky says through clenched teeth.

"You mad 'cause your girl wants me and not you?" he asks. "You jealous that I'm bigger and better than you?" 

"Shut the hell up, Josh," Ricky says in a loud, warning tone that scares me.

"Come on, you've always said you wanted to lead," Josh slurs. "So lead. See how you like it." He stumbles forward, his movements loose from alcohol. "Now's your chance to be a man," he growls. "Let's see what you've got, little brother."

That sets Ricky off.

He lunges for Josh with an angry grunt and punches him square in the face, knocking him backwards into the wall. Josh struggles to his feet. He plows forward, landing his shoulder into Ricky's rib cage. Ricky winces in pain as he slams back against the wall.

In one swift move, Louis is on the scene, grabbing at Ricky's arms as he tries to strangle Josh, holding him back. Everyone else steps in, holding the two back, words jumbled and pushing and shoving.

I can't take this.

I run to the bathroom, putting my hand on the wall to balance myself as the dizziness sets it. I get to the bathroom in a rush and push the door open, not even bothering to put on the light. I shut the door, blocking out some of the noise and sit on the edge of the bathtub, putting my face in my hands as the tears fall freely.

A hard pounding in my head starts and I squeeze my temples, trying to making it go away, but it doesn't. I whip around and put my legs in the empty bathtub before dropping down and hugging my knees to my chest.

For the next minute or two, I sit there in the empty bathtub with the lights off, in complete and total darkness.