September 10th 2011.
Dear Someone,
I didn’t want to go to school today. I don’t know why. There’s nothing to put me off.
I have no friends, the work is understandable and nothing there can make me sad. I just didn’t want to go in but I had to. I guess every kid has to despite their situation. Nothing happened again though; it’s just the same stuff day in day out when you’re like me. If I was my sister then perhaps stuff might make me want to go in. Today I decided I wanted to know what’s going through her mind.
She’s 15 and she’s pretty- not the extremely noticeable beauty but it’s still there, she’s not plain. When I see her in school, I can see her with a group of friends that seem relatively happy. There are boys that hang around her so maybe she has a boyfriend and she’s always laughing. But the second she gets home she’s miserable and she locks herself in her bedroom and won’t talk. I don’t ever hear anything from her so I don’t know what she’s doing. When I was little, I used to press my ear against the wall and hear her talking to herself and singing. She doesn’t do that anymore. It’s weird. Every time I see her in school she seems happy but it’s as though being at home drains the life from her. I’m scared it’s my fault. I love her a lot.
Also, I think people know about me. They give me funny looks and they stare at my sleeves. I don’t know why. I’ve nothing to be ashamed of. I guess the counsellor or whatever she was meant to be didn’t particularly cover me up but it doesn’t matter. I’m still here, right? I should be proud. That’s what the doctors said.
I don’t want to do tomorrow either. I feel like a robot doing the same thing day in and day out. There’s no beauty in that. Being the same is not beautiful when beauty is all I need.
From,
Adam.
