September 7th 2011.
Dear someone,
I hope you understand why I need to say words like these, and I hope that you understand why I need you to not say words like these. Even though you are someone, to me you are someone that I need and I hope you understand that, too. I hope you understand a lot of things about me, really, but I’m not too sure you will because no one else has ever seemed to. But I hope you try, I hope you try to figure out the sense in these words that I write to you as all the sense is there; you just have to be wise to see it. I know that if you study in between the lines here, you’ll know exactly what I’m on about. I think if you knew what I was saying outright, you wouldn’t be able to see the good side of it and you would think I am more insane then I most likely already am.
This all happened about a year and a half ago, when my mind got the best of me in class one Tuesday and the school decided that I had gone mad and I needed help. My mum and dad agreed, and I took all that time off of school and spent isolated from everyone but my family and the doctors who wanted to make me better. I don’t know what my friends are doing anymore, or if they even know who I am, but that’s okay. They’re not my friends anymore; they’re not the someone’s I need.
Here, I’m going to start fresh. Those 18 months ago, things were bad and right now they’re not all too much better but I’m hoping that I’ll find people like you that will help me get better. You see the beauty of the world around you, and I need to learn to appreciate it. Even though that some days the skies are blue and the sun is shining bright, you still know that the night will fall eventually. And even though the night is blissful, that’s not the beauty I need to see. I need to see the world as it is.
So, I’m starting new tomorrow. I’ve never done this before so I don’t know what to expect. All I know is that I won’t get the stares anymore, the looks of sympathy and then the looks of pure terror. I know I scared people, but here I’m going to try to not do that. I’ll still be me, but not quite. I’ll be the little me, the person I was before I knew what really went on when I would try to go to sleep and what actually happened on Christmas eve. I’m going to try and be that person again.
From,
Adam.
