September 8th 2011.
Dear someone,
Today it all started. It was just like it was all that time ago, with the intimidating laughter and the stuck up idiots but in a way it was different. It was all so very different. This time, I felt clean in a way. No one knew my name and even though I got stared at, it was more inquisitive than scared. I didn’t seem like the boy that did that one thing. I seem like a stranger, and to me, that’s okay
I didn’t enjoy any of my classes really. Ever since I figured out how pointless it all would be, I’ve not found myself glad to be in class. School will never define anyone’s intelligence so I don’t see why I should try. It won’t make me any smarter. I also spent the day alone and I haven’t done that in a while. There’s always been someone knocking or asking me how I was doing, so it was nice to be left to myself. I was perfectly content just watching everyone and wondering, wondering how the grades were going those 200 miles away. Bad, most probably, but that wasn’t my fault. That was the only thing that wasn’t.
At lunch I sat in the furthest corner from the door at a huge table by myself, to see if it was anyones seat and if they’d confront me. People looked at me, but no one asked or told me to move. I’m just a no one to them, so they wouldn’t need to talk to me. I don’t know if I’ll be a someone here, but then again I’m not all too sure I want to be. I don’t think I’m cut out for that just yet.
Then once I was home, my parents were sitting on the sofa holding hands, just like they had done on the first day of my primary school. They smiled at me and asked me how it all went, just like they had done all those years ago. But instead of telling them all about it, I just told them it was okay and went and laid in bed and slept for a few hours. That was the best part of the day, because sleep is like a pain relief. It makes everything better for a temporary amount of time.
So, overall I don’t know how it went. But I’m sure not seeing any of the beauty yet.
From,
Adam.
