That I Would Be Good

Chapter Six

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

     Growing up Halloween was a big deal for Fritz and me. It was that one time of year that we could get candy from strangers and not be yelled at by our parents or be afraid strangers were going to kidnap us. Halloween was the only time of the year that Fritz and I ever got along for more than two minutes.

     We’d go out together right at six o’clock when the trick-or-treating would start. We raced from house to house as fast as we could getting as much candy as possible, and making a game out of it. When running became boring we’d hop from house to house and when that became boring we’d link arms and skip like they did in the Wizard of Oz.

      This was the only time that we looked like loving siblings. There was never a single argument on that day. Maybe it was because we weren’t competing for our parents’ attention. We were alone and our parents blocks away. Only each other to rely on.

      Fritz was always in charge when we would go out trick-or-treating because he was the oldest. For some reason this never bothered me either, like it would have any other day. I actually liked having him look after me. Fritz was a protective big brother when he was put in charge. He always took the role seriously and he still does now.

      Now Halloween wasn’t as big a deal for my family. It wasn’t a deal at all. It was just another day to my parents and to my brother. For me… it was a day for partying. No dressing up and having an excuse to drink like other high-schoolers. I just drank and smoked at my favorite hangout. The Pool.

      The Pool was… well a pool. An old abandoned one no water in it, on the grubbier side of town.  This was the big place where potheads and boozers liked to hang out on the weekends and sometimes even during the weekdays.  I usually only came on Halloween and the occasional weekend to relieve myself of some stress.

     I don’t know what had gotten into me but I had invited Ziggy and Leo to come to The Pool with me Friday for Halloween.  There were going to be a few bongs there and a couple of kegs for drinking games there.  It’s what they did every Halloween.  This year I thought I’d bring someone to hang out with instead of going by myself and try to find the least toxic person there to talk with.

      Leo was quick to accept my invite saying that he used to do stuff like that in his old town all the time and had been looking for a new place to hang out at and was more than happy to come. Ziggy on the other hand wasn’t too up for this new type of excursion. 

      “Do you know what goes on at The Pool?” he had asked, his eyes popping out of his head.

      I looked at him annoyed.  Would he seriously think I’d invite him there if I didn’t know what would be going on?  He could be a real dipshit sometimes. “No, what goes on there?” I barked at him sarcastically.

      He took a few steps in a circle his head hanging up towards the sky.  He did this a few times and stopping each time when his gaze met mine again.  He would open his mouth to say something but close it and spin again in the tiny circle. Finally he seemed to figure out what he wanted to say, and looked me straight in the eye.  “Why do you want to get high and/or drunk? Do you think that lowly of yourself?”

     Rolling my eyes I sighed heavily.  He knew how to put a damper to everything.  This would be the last time I’d invite him to something fun.  If I had known he was going to be such a Debbie-downer in the first place I wouldn’t have invited him. “I don’t think lowly of myself.  It’s just something to do.  What’s wrong with that?  It’s not like I do it every day like some of the potheads around here.”