Abused {ACM}

Chapter 18

Austin was my last lifeline, my floating device. I was neck-deep in water and he was the only thing lovingly holding me up. It was crazy how I had him, crazy why I had him. I could live life a million times over and still not deserve him, but I didn't care. Not right now, anyway. I gave myself one selfish wish and clung to him, letting him comfort me and rock me back and forth, in the rain and under the flickering streetlight. But sooner or later, I had to learn to swim without him. And I'm not sure if I'm ready for that day to come yet. But it's getting closer, and there's nothing I could do to stop the waves.

Austin's POV

Abby clutched at me tightly, hanging onto my neck with her thin arms so hard that they were shaking. Rain dripped from our clothing, soaking us down to the bone.

I sighed and gathered Abby in my arms, standing up. The light pole flickered and then went off. The rain was a light mist now, sprinkling down our faces, sending the light scent of rain to our noses.

"Austin?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you. I'm sorry, but I love you."

My jaw clenched and I shook my head.

"Why are you sorry?" Anger and desperation made my heart flutter, and I felt the back of my eyes prick. I hated this. I hated feeling so weak. I hated seeing Abby in pain. And there was no way I could stop the pain. Helpless, I was so helpless.

My arms tightened around her, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I'm pulling you closer and closer into this utterly depressing life of mine."

I stopped walking and leaned down, brushing my lips against her cheek. I looked up and pleaded with her through my eyes.

"Any life of yours I'm in is a happy one for me." I murmured.

She just closed her eyes.

I walked as quickly as I could, trying not to jostle Abby, and half-jogged back home. Both our fingers were white and shaking, and my teeth were chattering so hard I almost bit my tongue off about half a dozen times. Exhaustion knocked Abby out, and I was glad that she was finally resting. I looked down at her face. Innocent and pure and utterly, completely sad, even in her sleep.

I shook my head and clenched my jaw.

"I'll get you out, Abs. If it's the last thing I do, I'll get you out."

I walked up my steps and there was a sticky note attached to my front door.

Decided you and Abby should be left alone when you guys get back. There are warm towels and clothes in the dryer. Don't sleep with wet hair. -Mom

I rolled my eyes and smiled at the note. I leaned over and ripped it off with my teeth, and kicked the door open and closed with my foot. I walked to the kitchen trash bin and dropped the note into it, and then laid Abby down on the couch.

She whimpered but didn't wake up, curling in on herself. I walked to the dryer and pulled out a towel and Abby's clothes.

Rain pounded mercilessly at the roof of the house, and lightning flashed through the room.

I kneeled by the couch and pressed my lips to Abby's forehead.

"Wake up." I whispered.

She grunted and pressed a kiss to my cheek, but turned around and I heard her breathing even out again.

"Come on, baby. You can't sleep in wet clothes, you'll get sick." I pressed a hand to her cheek.

"I don't care." She slurred.