Look At Me

Believe me

Believe me

I woke up and got to school the same way as any day. He came by to pick me up in the morning and drove me to school. But, today was different than the other days. Today, he didn’t look as joyful as he usually been. I know the reason of his awful mood; the girl he was in love with broke up with him.

It’s hard watching him this way. It also happened to him two years ago, when his first love broke up with him. It pains me to see him this sad, though I should be happy about it that he was single again. But, I’d rather be his shelter, his comfort, his strength, when he has none than is the cause of his pain. As a friend, I can make him smile and laugh that none of his past lovers can. But, can I be contented that way?

As we reached school, I let that thoughts drop and try to cheer my best friend up. When we got out of the car, I saw a bunch of stuck up cheer leaders flirting their way to the most popular guy in school.

“God… when would they realize that those guys are gays and aren’t interested… I mean, I feel bad…” I said, dramatically, as we walked towards the entrance of the school building.

He looked at me and glance towards the group I was referring and muffled a laugh. The popular guy was leaning a bit away from the cheer leader like he was disgusted by her. I chuckled along with him, watching as the scenes unravel.

As we got to our locker, I notice a couple making out and comment on that.

“Hey, Chase. Look…” I said, nudging him and pointing to towards the couple. “Oi! Get a room… this isn’t making out hallway. Do it the janitor’s closest!” I shouted, getting the couple’s attention.

“Sheesh!” Chase hushed me, but was smirking at my comment. “You’re too blunt…” he said, whispering to me.

“Mind your own business Alexis!” the boy shouted angrily at me as he drags his girlfriend away.

“You! Girl! You should get another boyfriend… that guy is sh*t!” I shouted back, pissed.

When they turned on the curve, the guy flash me the middle finger, and vanished. I stuck my tongue out but he wasn’t able to see me anymore. I turned my attention back to my locker and got my books as my best friend did.

“Let’s go the class before you make another scene. You’re unbelievable.”He said, as he close his locker beside me, still chuckling at what happened.

“Don’t point at me… He was disrupting the public with provocative scenes… did you see him eat that poor girl. I should report him to the authorities.” I said acting concerned.

“You’re unbelievable.” He said, smirking.

As we walked towards our class, I notice him stiffen beside me. When I glance around what caused him to act that way, I noticed her walking towards our direction. I look back at him, his face filled with pain again like it did this morning. They broke up last night through the phone. For the first time, in a while, I saw him cry again because of love. And just like any best friend, I was there to comfort him.

I tugged his shirt, and pocked his shoulder to get his attention, but he remained still. I sighed, and stood in front of him and tipped toed, to block his view from her, and wave my hands to get his attention back.

“Do you want me to create a distraction?” I ask my face serious.

He finally snapped out of it and looked at me. His eyes mirrored my soul, which was filled with pain of being in love with someone that doesn’t love you back. He gave me a soft smile of assurance, telling me that he was fine. I sighed heavily, and we both walk on. As we pass by her, he glance her way for a moment and look on forward like he didn’t see her. I noticed her looked at him for a moment with a sad look in her eyes, and then returned her attention to her friend who was talking.

I felt sad to see him like this, and I felt sad for her to look at him that way. Sure the woman stole the man I love, but I can never wish heartache to anyone, and that includes her.

For the rest of the day, I help him avoid her, or rather, get his attention away from her. But, it was hard since I knew he still love her. Though it pains me to do so, I continued on until we were safely backed to my house where he could no longer see her.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked when we finally settle in the couch of my living room.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just a little tired…” he answered, and gave a little yawn. “Hey! How about we try that new Halo game you just bought?” he added, his mood changed 360.

I eyed him for a minute and agreed to it. I knew what he was doing; he was trying to avoid the topic about her again. I understand that part of him, wanting to not talk about it. But, in the middle of the game, he became silent and started sobbing. I paused the game and turned to him, and gave him a hug.

“I’m sorry you have to see this again, Alex. It was just yesterday you know… and she didn’t even look my way…” he said, sobbing as tear slowly caress his cheeks.

“It’s alright. I’m here… I’m here… everything is will be alright.” I chanted, cooing him the words as he continue to sob.

My heart breaks at that moment just hearing him and seeing him this helpless; I wanted to do something for him, to make it better, but that would only make me hurt even more.

“I’m sorry, Chase. I’m sorry…” I said, feeling my heart being crushed.

“What are you being sorry about?”He asked as he lean away from me, to look at my face.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you… that I couldn’t do anything for you…”I mumbled, looking down at my fingers as I started fidgeting.

“I don’t expect you to do anything, Alex. You’ve been here for me… this is my problem.”He said, and hugged me again.

“I wanted to, Chase. Believe me, I wanted to help you.” I said, as I slowly opened up something I’ve hidden so many years now. “But, I can’t.” I added my voice almost a whisper. I got out of his embrace and took a deep breath before looking at him in the eyes.

“I’m in love with you, Chase Anderson.”