Drunken words are sober thoughts (Jaspar)

8

I sat down on the couch early in the morning feeling my nerves rising every second. I heard Caspar and I forced myself to take a deep breath. Calm down Joe, Calm down. I heard his footsteps getting louder and bit my bottom lip painfully hard. Just take another deep breath, that's all I need. Breath in and then out.

"Hey Casp, I was wondering if we could do a collab video but, film our day and put the two together. Wouldn't that be cool?" I asked, putting my hands in my lap. Caspar stood still and was in a deep thought.

"I actually had plans with Alfie today. He's taking me to a party. I forget to tell you you're invited." Caspar forced a smile. Obviously he thought I was going to watch every move he makes.

"If it's okay with you Casp, I'd actually prefer to stay home. I mean, we don't want us both drinking a little too much and then having no way home." I laughed, regretting my Decision. I should've gone and watched from the sidelines. For some reason Caspar didn't look sad or happy I wasn't going. He just looked mutual. I shrugged it off as he hurried out of the room. When he came back out he was dressed nicely and smiling.

"Someone's definitely happy." I laughed, running a hand through my hair. He nodded and started his way towards the door, "Casp wait!" He stopped outside the door tilting his head at me in confusion. I got up and walked over to him. Of course the boy towered over me so, I stood on my tiptoes.

"Joe, what are you doing?" Caspar asked, as I pretended to fix his tie. I looked him straight in the eyes and planted a soft, quick kiss on his sweet lips. I then pushed him out the door angry with myself. Why would I do that? Now he's going to confront me! I'm such a idiot! Joe, you're over reacting. He's going to be drunk when he gets home. He won't remember. I am over reacting. I'm such a drama queen. I went into my room and sighed. I needed to film or everyone's going to think I'm dead. They most likely think Caspar's dead. Whatever, right now I need to focus on me. Not how good looking Casp is. I grabbed my lights and set them up. Sitting my camera on the tripod and started my video.
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I finished editing and then set it up to post. I sat my laptop on my bedside table and put back my lights, tripod and camera. I looked at my bedroom door and saw Caspar fly in. I know if he gets in he's going to ruin my laptop. I push him out and closed the door behind us. Caspar smiled down at me and I ran my hand through my hair nervously. Sugg, you shouldn't be nervous to be this close. You broke the barrier earlier. Just calm the fuck down.

"I want another kiss Joe." Caspar mumbled, grabbing both of my hands. I just looked at him. I didn't want to kiss him while he's drunk. Then my breath will smell of alcohol. I just smiled at him.

"I'd like another kiss too Casp but, I want you to be sober when it happens." I explained, pulling my hands away and lying them by my sides. Caspar pouted at me as I pointed to his bedroom. I didn't really want to deal with him tonight. I had way to much on my mind and he was a burden to it. Caspar stumbled into his room and I heard him run into something. I winced and started to walk towards the door. He's drunk Joesph, don't care what happens to him. Between you and him. Just leave him be. You don't have feelings for this asshole replacing Caspar. You love Caspar Lee. Sober and happy Caspar Lee.

I went into my room and looked at my laptop. The video finished upload and I sat it on my desk. I sat down at the end of my bed as my thoughts began to consume me. Then I heard someone scream out and loud sobs. I knew right away it was Caspar. I needed to help him. Rather this was someone replacing the one I loved or the real Caspar pretending. I need to help him. No matter what happens. I need to help the boy of my dreams. Casp, I'm coming for you. Forever and always.
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I heard the sirens and I knew they were coming here. I had Casp in my arms, rubbing his back. He was passed out but, I wanted to be there for him. Unconscious and conscious. I heard the doors open and I tried to wipe the tears off my face but more just ran down my hand. They took Caspar from me. I looked at my hands and then watched them take Caspar away. I ran out after them and they placed him in the truck.

"Relatives?" A man asked quickly. I shook my head and he gave me a look of pity.

"Were just room mates!" I exclaimed, wiping away some of my never ending tears.

"See you at the hospital then." The man chuckled. I resisted punching him in the face. I couldn't drive in this condition. I figured by how much I have cried the tears would run out. It seems like they never do. I decided the best thing to do was to call Zoe and see if she could take me. Zoe Sugg was my last hope. If only Oli was in London, he'd be here in a heartbeat. I clicked on Zoe's contact and she picked up rather quickly.

"Hey Joe. I was about to call you." Zoe rushed, sounding sad.

"I need you to drive me to the hospital." I rushed, looking out my window.

"That's what I was going to ask. Did you see the quick vlog Casp posted?" she asked making me instantly curious but, I need to focus on Caspar.

"No sorry. Get here quickly okay Zoe?" I mumbled.

"See you soon Joe. Love you!"

"I love you too." I sighed, hanging up and staring dully out the window. My eyes were clouded and I wanted them to clear. How come the tears never stop coming?!