Drunken words are sober thoughts (Jaspar)

7

I heard the doorbell ring. Knowing it was either Marcus or Caspar I walked confidently up to the door. Caspar had gone to the shops earlier and I prayed he was okay. He'd been gone way longer than he told me he would be and I've been on the verge of panic all day. I opened the door and there stood a very happy looking Marcus. When he saw my worried expression the smile was automatically snatched away. Marcus walked inside, closing the door behind him. He gave me a soothing hug and for some reason I felt like I was cheating on Casp. I just ignored my thoughts and melted into Marcus' hug. After he pulled out of the hug we sat on the couch and he gave me a look of all seriousness.

"Is Caspar out drinking now Joe? What got your trousers in a bunch?" Marcus asked, looking me start in the eye.

"He said he's gone to the shops but, I highly doubt it. I don't understand who drives him home when he's drunk." I mumbled, running a hand through my hair out of stress. Marcus gave me another quick hug and I immediately calmed down. I don't know what it is about Marcus' hugs. They're just so warm and soothing. Caspar usually squeezing me two tight when we hug so compared to Marcus I know who to get a hug from from.

"I'm sure Caspar is at the shops as we speak but couldn't find what he was looking for. He probably calls Alfie or something to drive him home. Maybe just rings up a tow to bring him home along with his car." Marcus said giving a reasonable response. Something to think about. I'll have to go to the Sugg spot to think soon. My minds starting to get cloudier and cloudier. There was a ring of the doorbell and I knew it was Casp. Couldn't be anyone else. I was scared of what I'd see so, I sent Marcus. He knew it wasn't a good idea but, I certainly didn't want to do it. He pulled open the door and in stumbled a more drunk than ever Caspar. Barely keeping posture he looked at me then Marcus.

"Joe why the hell would you do that to me? Bring Marcus over. I know how you feel about Marcus, having a larger crush on him than how long friendship has been added to yours and my age. It pisses me off Joe." Drunk Casp always jumped to conclusions which hurt my feelings.

"It's not like that at all. Joesph and I are just friends. You're jumping to conclusions... I don't understand you Caspar. Joe we'll finish this chat soon okay?" Marcus sighed, grabbing his coat and pulling it on.

"Okay See you soon Marcus!" I called as he walked out the door. Caspar stumbled over to me and pouted . I just stared at him as I saw tears fill into his eyes.

"I knew you always liked Marcus and now that tinge of hope that you could love me has gone away. Thanks a lot Joe. You're a shit ass friend." Caspar cried out, the tears coming down his cheeks. I sat him down on the couch and hurried over to his shopping bag. I saw a bottle of half drank alcohol and some painkillers. I grabbed the painkillers and shoved the bottle as best I could into my back pocket.

"It's time for you to head to your room. It's bed time." I mumbled keeping my voice low. Caspar pushed me against the wall making me gasp as he looked down at me. We just stared at eachother until Casp got down on his knees. He was a little shorter than me now and I felt like boasting. That's not the right thing to do right now though. I just pulled him off the ground and took him to his room.

"Joe i don't want to go to bed. Is so early in the day." Caspar whined as I tucked him in pulling his curtains closed. I hurried out of the room, shutting the door behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw his bedroom door fly open. I cursed him out under my breath as he plopped down on the couch.

"Mr. Lee I'm going to call your mother!" I threatened, leaving my phone in my pocket. When he's sober and I threaten to cal his mum he cries and snatches my phone from me not letting me have it until I promise not to. This Casp had no reaction, he was lifeless and scaring me. I pulled out my phone and dialed his Mum. She picked up on the last ring as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hello?" she asked, as I looked over at her son. Caspar was staring at me with lifeless eyes. I sighed.

"It's Casp. He's drunk and he's just been terrible. Going out once a week drinking. I don't know what to do." I mumbled, as Casp stood up and started walking towards me. His mum started going through a long story that I gave no shits about, and all I could do was watch Caspar.

"Joe, I love you." Caspar slurred. I rushed my goodbye to his mum and hung up the phone, sitting it on the table.

"Caspar if I lay with you will you agree to go to bed?" I asked, regretting my question. Caspar nodded and grabbed my hand, swinging it back and forth.

"Please lie with me Joesph." He said dragging out every word. I rolled my eyes and sat down on his bed. He sat beside me and kissed my cheek as best he could. I laid closest to the wall so that he couldn't vomit on me. Caspar laid down and looked over at me.

"This is always what I've wanted mate." He rushed, just sitting the words out at me. I some of his spit of my cheek and smiled at him. This was all I ever wanted. Only I wanted him with me sober. All I want is his strong arms around me and us sleeping happily together. But I wasn't happy one bit, I was sad. Not for myself but for Caspar. I heard his snores and sat on my knees, crawling off the bed. I need to go to my own room and pray for Caspar. I really want him to be sober. I'm not letting him go anywhere, unless I'm there with him. It's final.