Ursa Minor (On hiatus)

Socializing with people

Lisa's hands cold and nervous in mine. We were standing in the hallway by her locker, and she tramped around, twitching like a race horse on the starting line before taking off. It was Friday and she had a test first period. Somehow I felt it my duty to try and calm her down, even though calming people down really wasn't my strong side.

"You'll be fine, I'm sure you'll do great," I assured her, and not for the first time. Why was it always the ones who studied the most that worried the most for failing? School was actually one thing that I didn't worry about so much. I would pass, that was enough for me, but not enough for Lisa.  

Her forehead creased slightly. "Maybe I should've-" 

"No, Lis, don't think that, you'll be fine," I repeated once again. Claire standing a few lockers away sighed the loudest of sighs. Lisa looked over to her anxiously, but I tugged her closer, leaned closer.

"She's just jealous because she doesn't have a boyfriend," I mumbled in her ear and she giggled. "Don't be mean." 

"It's not mean if it's true," I murmured, realizing the meaning of what I'd said a little too late. 

"Is it true then? Are you my boyfriend?" She looked up at me expectantly, the test for the moment forgotten. Which was what I had wanted maybe, but not like this. For a second I panicked, but only for a second.

"Do you want me to be?" I asked cunningly. 

"Do you want to come around Saturday?" She equally cheekily answered my question to her question "It's my brother's birthday..." 

Now it was my turn to tramp around. My turn to twitch. I didn't want to disappoint but I didn't want to lie either. I should go, I knew as much. As I should attend the concerts and the bowling nights or whatever. Not only should I attend, I should want to attend. That was the hardest part. The  

request was still pending but I had already proven myself to be a really lousy boyfriend.

"You don't have to come," Lisa said quickly, no doubt noticing my troubled expression and I didn't even try to contradict her. She really had way too much patience with me. Way more than I deserved. 

"Will you meet me after choir practice then?" She asked instead, seemingly unbothered by my lack of boyfriend skills. "We're going to get something to eat afterwards, you should come with us." 

"Sure," I nodded. Didn't want to attend that much either, but it would be a walk in the park compared to meeting her whole family.  

Lisa beamed in her quiet way and I basked in it, leaned down to kiss her on the side of her mouth.  

"And of course, you're my girlfriend," I mumbled against her cheek.

I looked over my shoulder as I left, caught a glimpse of her rosy face and smiled to myself. A quick smile of course, couldn't go around smiling like an enamored idiot. People might get the wrong ideas.

Before I'd met Trish almost a year ago, I had kinda assumed I'd be alone. Like who'd put up with me? My family had to, of course, but I didn't really want to force anyone else to deal with my shit. Not alone forever though. By the time I was like 35 maybe there would be someone offering to take care of me. To put up with me. I didn't look that bad. (According to Trish I was unofficially one of the hottest guys at school, but I knew she only said it to justify that she'd dated me.) And I wasn't a total douchebag. And anyways, seeing some of the relationships that manifested themselves in the hallway as I walked past, girls seemed to love putting up with douchebags that grabbed their ass in public. Even I wouldn't do that. And now it didn't matter. I smiled again, a smile I didn't bother to hide.