1981
"No, I won't!"
"Why no?"
"Let me see, maybe because we came back from a two year long tour half a year ago, and I really need some down time."
Stay calm, Stevie, screaming won't help your case right now, she thought to herself, willing herself not to either begin to scream into the faces of her bandmates, or throwing them out of her house. Had she known that this so called visit was serving the purpose to try and convince her from going into the studio with them in a few days time, she wouldn't have readily invited them in.
She had already devoted so much time and energy in telling them no, while they were still on tour. No, she didn't want to extend the tour even more. No, she wanted to see nobody on their days off. No, she wouldn't go right back into the studio. She just didn't feel up to it right now.
"Love, you signed up for this." Mick tried to tell her once more.
"I also signed up for taking care of my daughter."
"It's not like you couldn't do that while we're in the studio."
"Yeah, just the way you do, Mick." She shot back.
That was followed by a dead silence. Nobody dared to say a word after that. And Mick was shocked that Stevie had played that card. They all knew, Mick included, that he hadn't made the wisest decision when it came to his daughters, often. But so far nobody had said anything about that. That Stevie had now stabbed the knife in that wound and twisted it, surprised everyone.
"I think she made her point." John muttered after some moment, earning a glare from Christine.
"Look, I'm sorry." Stevie sighed. "But I really can't do anything right now. I don't want to, one day, walk into a room and hear Sara call Robin, or a nanny mommy. I don't want that, and I can't drag her around the world for a year again. Not yet again."
"Are you leaving?" Christine asked, voicing the thought that everyone had entertained ever since Stevie had told them she was pregnant and had every intention to have and keep the baby.
"I'd never leave the band." She shook her head. "This thing we have going on is way too important to me. But I really need some time off. I'll come back to you. Just not now."
"What do you expect us to do in the meantime? Sit around and do nothing?"
She was met with an icy glare from, momentarily, cold blue gray eyes.
"Go solo, for all I care." Stevie spat back.
She didn't meant to be so on the edge as soon as Lindsey turn to speak to her. But ever since her affair with Don he had been at her throat constantly. It was even worse after she had Sara. There was nothing but tension between them.
"Maybe I should."
"Maybe I don't give a fuck."
It went on and on, the screaming inevitable, which was why the other three thought it was best to stop it from escalating by declaring the meeting over, and Mick and John pulling Lindsey out of Stevie's house. They were both still talking to each other, each of them trying to get the upper hand.
"You really wouldn't mind if we do something beside the band?" Christine asked.
She had stayed behind, wanting to catch up with her friend.
"I can't expect you to sit around and do nothing, can I?" She replied. "Only because I want to take a break it doesn't mean you can't do anything. I know you have some songs you didn't get on the records. I do too, but there won't be time for me to put something together. You have time. And I think your songs deserve to be heard."
"You really changed, you know? When you first joined the band, you were so driven by the thought of becoming successful. And now, look at you. You don't go out anymore..."
"I'm not drunk or high anymore." Stevie added, laughing. "I'm good, you know. I don't want to think about what might have been if I hadn't had my baby girl. The way things started to get out of hands, I'd most likely be dead by now."
"Maybe not dead, but a wreck." Christine joked.
"Who knows. I'm glad I'm not that person anymore. And would I like to go back into the studio with you guys right away, if course I'd love to. But I already missed so much, and Sara's by far more important to me than anything I could achieve with the band."
"I think you're trying to win mommy of the year."
"I don't."
Stevie couldn't help but laugh, knowing that somehow Christine was right. She wanted to be a good mother. But she also wanted to show everyone that she could do this alone, that she didn't need a man at her side to take care of her daughter and have a successful career. She wanted this for herself, but she also wanted to show Don what he had given up on.
Next one's gonna be back in 2005. If you'd like me to write about certain things that went on in the past, let me know :) Love, Dani
