Toys of a Dangerous Mind-{Winner of Undiscovered, Watty Awards 2011} Under Edit

Chapter 5

Picture on the side is Liam.

When his lips touched mine, they were warm and soft. His hand gently moved up my arm then my neck, to cradle my cheek. I pressed myself closer to him, deepening the kiss, a bursting sensation inside of me. It was passionate, it was insane, it was beautiful- but it was something that I had been stripped from, ever since Ryan's harsh, burning kisses had dominated me.

Ryan. The name pierced my mind like an arrow and I realised what this meant. I couldn't do this. Not when Ryan might hear. Not when I could compromise our entire escape. 

I pulled out of the kiss suddenly, springing away from him. His face was so sweet- but confused, and I hated to hurt his feelings like this. But I couldn't explain- because I couldn't ruin... whatever the hell this was, by telling him about Ryan. 

By telling him about the nights I spent with Ryan. 

"I... I can't," I stammered. "I'm sorry Liam." 

I ran, trying to hide away how hurt he had looked and how I had caused that hurt. 

Little slut, aren't you Danielle? A snide voice in my head cut into me like razors. Playing around like this, what do you expect?

I'm not- I'm not like that, I tried to fight back the voice. I'm just doing what I have to. 

Being a slut. A tease. Is that what you have to do?

Shut up, I whispered. Go away.

I found myself at Renae's door. Leave one friend, go to another. 

Renae's door was closed, so I knocked quickly. After a few seconds, she opened it and, taking in my expression, pulled me inside and shut the door after me.

Renae sat me on the bed and then she pulled up a chair and sat opposite me.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Is it about Liam?" I looked at her, confused.

"How did you know that, it was about-?" She cut me off, saying,

"Anyone who's not blind, deaf or dumb, can see you and Liam have a thing for each other. All that talking and-" She trailed off when she saw my once again confused expression.

"Okay, anyone who's not blind, deaf, dumb or Danielle, apparently." She raised her eyebrows. "So, what happened?"

"Well, he said he had a surprise for me and so we went up to his room and-"

"Wow, he wanted to sleep with you that early? Jeez that's-"

"Renae," I interjected. "The surprise wasn't sex. Can you be quiet until I finish?" 

She nodded and zipped her lips, leaning forward, eager for me to continue.

"So, the surprise was Twister. We went in, played the game... and then- and then we kissed."

"You're worried about the Games, aren't you?" Renae said softly. "About what will happen to us all." 

"Yeah, I am," I replied quietly, feeing tears prick my eyes. I brushed them off. "I... I can't risk this with Liam. It's not even just that." 

"What else?" 

"Ryan," I said the word like it was a curse word. "If this gets back to him- do you have any idea what could happen? It might affect everything that we have and what I've been working for the escape. I can't risk everything on some stupid teenage relationship." 

Renae paused for a moment than leant forward, holding my hands in hers. "Do you feel happy with him?" 

"Renae, that's not the-"