NO.24; A LETTER TO SOMEONE WHO DIED
APRIL 7th, 2014
Dear Mum,
This is my second attempt at writing you a letter, I've barely started it and I'm already finding it hard to breathe.
I was talking to Dad a few days ago and -
Shit.
Mum, I love you and I -
Fuck.
I'm sorry for swearing, you always scolded me for even saying hell. It's just -
God, Mum, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry. Every time I try it's like a black ocean is looming over me, waiting, waiting, always waiting. It wants to drown me, consume me, rip every atom of breath from my lungs until I'm wishing for death. It's like the emptiness sitting in my chest seems heavier somehow, denser and the numbness is crawling all over my body.
Mum, there's so much I want to say to you but - I can't. I think I've kept everything, all the grief and shock and cutting desolation, bottled for so long, it's turned into an unmoveable mountain. My breathing is getting faster now, I can feel myself being transported back to your funeral, to my darkest nights, the days my grief was like steel wrapped around my neck.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God, why is that the only thing I can say to you? What's wrong with me?
I'll try again, Mum. I'll try and try and keep trying because I am going to conquer this. I need to talk to you, Mum, to tell you everything, even if it's in a letter you're never gonna get. I owe you that much.
Love, Morgana
YOU ARE READING
The Dreamer ✓
Teen FictionOne day, Morgana decides to pick up a pen and write a series of letters addressed to those she loves and hates. In these letters, she reveals her deepest fears and darkest secrets, in these letters she tells of the only boy she's ever loved and in t...
