Red Blooded

Chapter 18 - Tarzan

Surprise :-D

They say that pride comes before a fall, a fall that leaves you reeling from the aftermath of your actions. They say that you feel a surge of power before it fades away and leaves you feeling the brutal force of truth, a truth that slowly makes you succumb to reality. The truth will set you free; the truth will take the weight off your shoulders and have you landing on the ground safely.

 Pity there wasn’t something soft waiting for me when I crashed back down to earth.

I felt him on me, I felt him, everything. One minute my thoughts told me I wanted him, but as soon as I lost myself in his embrace, that’s when my eyes snapped open and my palms smacked against his chest, forcing him away. I took a deep, ragged breath in and turned away slightly, bending over and placing my hands on my knees for support.

“Em, shit, are you—”

“Stop!” I whispered, agonising over whether or not I should have run the moment I was out of his embrace. “Just...just give me a second.” I breathed, slowly taking a deep breath in and exhaling quickly. My body shook, my hands shook, my heart and chest felt like they were being pressed and was about to crack under pressure. This wasn’t right, it wasn’t right at all. It was a moment of weakness, a degrading thought that led to actions that left me disgusted inside.

“Em, please...”

I felt him take a step closer but I jumped back just before his hand lay on my shoulder. His face looked flushed; a mellow blush rose to his defined cheeks and left a stain so dark that it would no doubt remain there until we had a clear distance between us.  His eyes had taken on a darker colour, a deeper shade of darkness. I knew then that it was neither Hayden, nor I, in control of our bodies when we had kissed. Our desires were fuelled by others...our wolves.

Darn it.

“That,” I gulped, “that will happen again.” I backed away slowly, my right hand resting on my chest. “Hayden, it hurts too much.  I can handle friendship, but I can’t handle anything else.” I whispered. My back hit the wall behind me.

His face seemed to be a montage of emotions of late. I could actually tell the moment his face flushed in anger, defiance...and sadness. It was the sadness that really belonged to Hayden; the rest belonged to his wolf.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head slightly, a look of utter devastation strewn across his face. “I don’t know what happened.”

“It happened. Your wolf.”  I sighed. “It was my wolf too...I think.” I pushed off from the wall and walked slowly passed him, head bowed, eyes avoiding his. He followed.

“Either way, it won’t happen again.” He mumbled dejectedly, as if he were hurt.

 I nodded, offered him a strained smile, and began to pack zip up my holdall. “Cab will be here soon, right?”

He nodded. Nothing of consequence was said after that.

The cab arrived about ten minutes after. When the cab beeped from outside, Hayden picked up my holdall, picked up my other baggage and walked out to the car. After dumping everything in the trunk, he walked around, opened the door and waited for me to get inside. After I did, he requested my phone which I handed to him with due care, making sure that no skin contact occurred.

“My phone number is programmed in. Call me when you need something.”

Those were the words that swirled around in my head for the last six hours. After an hour drive back to the city to my penthouse, I found myself getting familiar with my bedroom ceiling instead of the inside of my eye lids. Sleep evaded me again, though not for lack of trying. I wanted to go to sleep, but Hayden’s words kept popping up.