As I Am

Chapter Twenty-One

Twenty-One

          We drive a short distance away to a burger joint that’s getting ready to close as soon as we walk through the doors. A teenage boy a year or two younger than me is dressed in a striped shirt and stacking chairs as the doorbell chimes. When he sees us, he immediately looks away, annoyed.

            Evan orders a large fries for us to share and two milkshakes. When our order is ready a few minutes later, we open the trunk of the Jeep and sit down on it. The teenage employee locks up the restaurant and starts walking down the street sporting a hoodie, but not before he gives us a disapproving look.

            “Do you want to talk? You know, about everything?” Evan asks. He’s staring up at the star-covered sky as he holds our brown bag of French fries.

            I finish my sip of my vanilla milkshake despite not wanting to stop and follow his gaze. The stars twinkle against the black and wish I had brought my camera. Somehow I thought that bringing it on our maybe-maybe-not date wasn’t appropriate.

            “I don’t know,” I smile, “everything seems like a lot of talking.” Evan doesn’t say anything so I playfully snatch the bag from his grasp and grab a small group of fries. He grins as he takes it back and together we stuff our faces. I continue in between bites. “But yes, I do want to talk, about everything.”

            Evan’s expression grows serious again and I realize that he’s purposely not looking at me. I think he’s doing what Hadley did the day I told her about Cade. It’s like it’s easier to talk about important things when you’re not making eye contact.

            “Where do we start?”

            “With tonight,” I say with certainly. “And then we can backtrack from there.”

            “That seems like a lot of talking,” Evan says with a forced half-smile. “But I guess I better start. Do you know where I brought you tonight?”

            I nod. “You brought me to Alcoholics Anonymous.”

            “Do you know why?” he asks.

            I shake my head no and take another sip of my milkshake before responding. “No one has said anything except for Hadley, about how you are now is good or something. She was pretty vague for your sake.”

            Evan swings his right leg across the air underneath the trunk a few times. I watch it move back and forth as I continue to drink.

            “Remember how I told you about my dad?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Well, after that, things weren’t very good. I fought with my mom a lot and kept leaving the house whenever things got bad. When she started seeing my step-father, before they got married, things were worse. I started hanging out with the wrong kids in the next town over.” He gestures around him.