Niall's Cancer Battle: A 1D Fanfic

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Fear

**A/N** For the benefit of everyone, please do not comment any spoilers as some people read the comments before the chapter. Thanks! Enjoy (:

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Fear

**Harry's POV**

He's gone.

Niall Horan is dead.

My body sinks down into the chair as I listen to Niall's heart monitor flatline. Instead of the constant beeping it has become one long lined beep that fills the silence of the room.

Niall doesn't move. His eyes are shut and there's a slight smile on his face. He could be sleeping with peace on his side. It makes my heart beat a little easier when I realize that he died with a smile on his face. Maybe he left this world with no pain in his body. Maybe, just maybe, if I believe it hard enough...he'll wake up. He looks like he's sleeping. He could be sleeping...right?

But the long beep from the monitor tells the world otherwise. Niall is dead. He's gone.

He's no longer hurting.

Instead the only pain in the room now is from me. The tears streak silently down my face as I stare at my dead best friend. I never thought that this would actually happen. Now that it has, I just don't know what to do.

I push up out of the chair and get to my feet. If I don't start moving now I might not ever find the strength to do so. I can't sit still any longer. Just being in the same room is making me feel suffocated.

The door opens and a nurse rushes in. She's yelling a long strand of "what happened" and "I'm sorry for your loss" and all these other small things people say to other people who are dealing with depressing situations. She makes her movements quick and precise as she checks for any sign of life in Niall and then tends to the monitor. It's the movements of someone used to these things. Of someone used to dealing with death on a regular basis.

"Harry? Are you okay?" I turn towards the nurse who has covered Niall over with the white hospital sheet. Her brown hair is tied up on her head and her brown eyes crinkle at the corners. I could sense the age in her body as she tries to smile at me. "Do you need some water or something?" She asks, walking towards me with her arms extended as if she plans on giving me a hug.

I step backwards and shake my head. "No," I say but it comes out as a croak. I realize that my body does in fact need water. My throat is parched and sore as if I had been screaming bloody murder. "Thank you," I add in to be polite.

"Harry, I know that you must be going through some shock right now, but death is something everyone deals with in their own time. Some people live lives that are long and fullfilling, while others," she glances over at Niall's covered, still body, "die before they can do anything great."

"Great?!" I reel from how insulted I feel. "Niall Horan did not only die young, but he died with greatness. He may not have built cities, or had them named after him, but he changed cities full of lives. He made girls and boys all across the world believe in themselves. He gave them life and love," I say directly to the nurse. Her statement flaring me with this kind of anger. How dare she think he died without doing anything great.

"Niall stood for all things beautiful. He helped those around him, made them believe they could conquer anything. He spoke to girls and boys across countries and states and towns about how their life meant something. He did not die silently. He died with his voice being heard all over the goddamn world. He may have been just another blonde, Irish boy who got lucky and put in a band of four other boys, but that doesn't mean he is normal in anyway. He used his fame to not only save lives, but to give back what was given to him. He showed everyone -he showed me that I am perfect despite my flaws. He is greatness."