Toxic (Black Veil Brides) *slow updates*

Toxic {12}

I had my head rested on the window, distracted by the raindrops rolling down that I traced with my finger as the music played in the background. The window was fogged up, so being myself I traced patterns into the window calmly. It had been two days since the concert in Belfast and whatever went on with Andy, now we were in _____. The past few days just haven't been it for me, feeling sluggish and uninterested in whats going on around me like hey, I am in a country that I never saw myself being in for at least another 7 years and on top of that I am on tour with literally my favorite band. So please for the love of god can someone tell me why I feel like shit. I think the fumes of men's body odor has been getting to me though, I thought my brother was bad enough but nothing compared to these five guys. So getting away from the stench for a while wasn't such a bad idea after all. I'm currently on a bus to somewhere, I didn't think, I just gave the driver some money and went and sat down the back. It's giving me some time to clear my head though, finally breathe and be on my own for a few hours. I never thought that I would ever get sick of being around the band too much but apparently they annoy me to death. I still think that the way I'm feeling right now is just because I'm away from home. I swear it's a seasonal thing also, I always feel like this after a few months of nothing but good, I would just presume life is catching back up to me. It's roughly around 4.30pm, and I know that I should be heading back by now but instead I'm still driving further and further away, kind of hoping that I could just keep driving and not have to get off.  I kept telling myself that I would get off at the next stop and wait for another bus going back into town but, nothing. I couldn't move, I couldn't push myself either. I was a statue absorbed in my own 'problems'. 

4.37pm.

4.45pm.

4.52pm.

5.04pm.

Torn away from looking at the window I tended to checking my phone which appeared to have multiple missed calls and texts. 'Where are you', 'When will you be back', 'Pick up'... I couldn't even bring myself to ringing one of them back or replying to any of the texts. I just felt so emotionless, numb. Yet I brought myself to get off at the next stop. I thanked the driver and got off and walked across to the other side of the road where yet another bus stop was. I stood in the rain, slightly admiring the cold weather, not really feeling it myself. It's generally colder back at home then what it is now but with the way I'm feeling, it just adds to another list of things I can't feel.

 After a 10 minute wait had passed I found myself boarding yet another bus back into town. I found myself down at the back again of the bus again like I was before, keeping to myself. Eventually I gave in to one of the texts and messaged Jake telling him where I was and that I was on my way back. I never got a reply back so I'm only presuming that as a band they are all busy doing soundcheck or something. I still had at least a 40 minute drive ahead of me, at this rate I'll be late to the show. In some cases I don't mind, I thought going to your favorite bands concert all the time would be fucking epic. No joke, but when every night is the same damn thing then I guess you do get a bit fed up of it. I won't be saying this when it's time for me to leave though, I'll be soaking up the last concert, the last moments with these boys before we part ways. Mentally not prepared for that, they'll just forget about me, I was just some fan that won a fan trip of a life and got to spend a couple of weeks with them on tour.  So much has already changed within the period of being on tour with them, but I wonder how much of it would go back to the way things were. How much will things change for me mentally? Going back to school, to my friends, to my mother and my suddenly missing father, loving brother and torturous sister, things are still sinking in for me, and I will never truly realize how much my life has changed and is still changing so much. Things for me, personally will never be the same again. 

Roughly 40 minutes later I'm walking the streets of _______. It's now nightfall and the streets are now decorated in lamps aligning the street and the head and taillights of cars roaming the streets. I came across the venue and walked around to the back. I grabbed out my VIP card and showed security, getting in with no problems. I walked through backstage before coming across a rowdy room over populated by men. BVB and D.R.U.G.S were hanging out in the room together,  anxiously I walked in.

"Hey! You're back!" I was leaning against the door frame as I heard a familiar voice speak up. CC runs up to me childishly with his arms opened wide. 

"Where were you? This day has been weird without you around to be honest". CC squeezes me tightly, lifting me from the ground slightly only to be put back down moments later. 

"I'm sure you guys were glad to finally get a break from me". I jokingly said, although I knew that it was no joke and the boys were most probably just dying to get rid of me for once. 

"Of course not! Besides, that doesn't even matter because we have someone we'd like you to meet!" CC leads me over Andy who was standing next to some women who was very unfamiliar. Blonde hair, fair skin, plump lips, and a perfect body, she was honestly beautiful, that kind of beautiful where it hurts to look at because you know that you can never be that. Andy's arm was securely around her thin body, in that moment something set of inside of me but I couldn't make it out. Jealousy fired up within me, I squeezed my nails into the palm of my hands in hopes of calming me down, but every step closer I got to them just made me crawl with anger and jealousy, and I don't even know why. 

"Katherine!" Andy says enthusiastically, "I'd like you to meet someone..." 'Oh god here we go', I thought to myself. I knew what was coming, I knew who she was but I just did not want to accept it. 

"Juliet this is Katherine, Katherine this is Juliet, my girlfriend". There, he said it. It didn't surprise me at all, it was obvious. Already I didn't like her, but I don't if that's because I'm simply jealous, or I genuinely have a bad feeling about her.... 

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Long time no see guys! The bottom line is I haven't used wattpad for over a good year and a half now, simply I have just lost all interest in wattpad. A lot has changed within the space of me joining in 2012 and starting this book in 2013 (I think) to 2017, it's my last year of college and I can't believe how time has literally passed by so fast. 

I want to keep this short and sweet but pretty much, I can not promise I will ever update after this again. I don't even know what came over me that made me want to write more but It happened. I will try, but it's not a priority at all for me to keep this book up. This was just a little bit of fun, and I know many of my readers won't even notice this has even had an update either way. 

But I do want to say thank you to all of those who have stuck by me through all these years, giving me so much love and support. You are all just absolutely amazing people and I hope you are all happy and living life to your full potential. 

Hopefully I will be posting here again sometime soon, but until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter (I am so sorry it's not very long). 

p.s. I forgot all of the tour dates from this tour so just fill in the blank! If anyone remembers these tour dates please tell me.

Love you all,

Adriana xx