One Direction Imagines

Losing Lou

I reach my hands up toward his expressionless face, brushing away a stray peace of hair.
I imagine our bed underneath his motionless body, the sun poking out from behind the buildings lighting the room up. But reality hits harder than ever when I realize that we aren't home. We are at the hospital, he is on the bed while I am sitting here ...waiting.
The beeping of the heart monitor at a steady pace never changing speed. It's been like this all night. Sitting. waiting. Thinking. I watch as he takes shallow breaths. His chest heaving up in down, troubled but steady.
A knot gets caught in my throat. I cough and grunt it away but tears just taking its place.
"Louis... Why wasn't I there" the hot saltiness of my tears running over my lips. "I could have stopped you. I could have helped you through all of this. I never knew it was this bad...I never knew I caused this. If I knew you where going to to this I would have never left you. I thought it was for the best... I thought it would help us. Louis I love you I always have and I always will. Just please.."
I grab his wrist. I kiss each of the deep cuts. One for the pain. Two for the reality. And three for the knowledge the inevitable will always be there.
. "...don't leave me Louis. We can fix this. You can't leave like this. So many people love you. I love you..."
I gasp as the steady ringing from the heart monitor increases. Faster, and faster. I scream for a nurse, a doctor, whoever can help. Loud crashes prove that help is in the room. Everybody surrounds the bed pushing shoving.
I look at Louis. His used to be beautiful green eyes but now just ghosts of what they once where looking at me. I lunge forward cupping his face. "Louis don't leave" I scream.
The tears becoming more and more. If I wasn't so focused on him I would be able to notice that the noise has calmed down. Less pushing less shoving. Just a quiet murmur. A hand is rested on my shoulder taking me out of Louis' stare. Then I realize.
The beeping is a steady steam of death. Louis' eyes are really just ghosts. I choke on saliva before I scream causing me to cough but scream. I grab his hand sobbing screaming.
Louis don't leave me don't leave me.
Hands are trying to separate out bodies. I thrash away until I am finally ripped from his grip. The last time I can't touch him. His hot fingers still leaving the tingle on my hand.
The person who has ripped us apart has set me down in front of a window. Punching kicking and yelling won't break it.
I finally lean against it and sob. His face lifeless and just a trace of who he used to be. The doctor pulls the thin sheet over his face.
My last goodbye is whispered threw my teeth as I sink to the floor in pain. Not my pain, his pain. The pain I made him suffer enough to try to end his life.
Him succeeding.

Authors note: hey guys this was my first published imagen thank you for reading. comment if you have any ideas :)

All the love,{kayla}