Chapter 7: Judge Tenderly, If You Must.
"Everyone's pain is different... I don't like when people compare. I don't like when people marginalize their feelings because they thing they are not allowed to have them. Someone will always have a tougher go than you. Does that mean you're not allowed to feel hurt? To be sad?" - S. Walden.
The streetlights were misty in the light snowfall. The night sky was a light purple shade, reflecting the ice that blanketed the sidewalks and streets.
Hanaan held her hot coco cup with both her hands to absorb the warmth, even though the heater was blasting in their apartment. She missed home. She missed her mom and her brother, Hakeem.
"At least they're safe and happy." She reminded herself, "Imagine where Rasheed's family must be."
Then her thoughts wondered to Rasheed's family. He never mentioned them when he told her about the refugee thing. Where they able to come here with him? Where they still at the refugee camp? Suddenly Hanaan felt a heavy feeling of guilt begin to creep over her. Here she was feeling sorry about herself being homesick, whilst people like Rasheed had to suffer so much bigger problems.
"What is my problem?" Hanaan huffed angrily at herself.
"Insanity, definitely insanity." Ammar joked, joining her in the living room.
Hanaan rolled her eyes, looking away from the window.
"You do know it's colder near the window right? Only you would sit there with a cup of hot coco and hope to be warm."
"God Ammar, I'm just enjoying the view. Winter doesn't feel good but it sure does look beautiful."
"It's not that bad once you get used to it." Ammar assured.
"I doubt it." Hanaan said sipping her hot coco.
"So what is your real problem?" He asked.
"Just a bit homesick that's all. But I really shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself, I'm lucky compared to others."
"Others as in Rasheed?"
Hanaan nodded.
"You know, just because he seems to have bigger problems than yours, it doesn't make your problems insignificant."
"It does..."
"Hey, your life hasn't been a piece of cake either. Your problems are different, not smaller."
"Yeah," Hanaan said, not entirely agreeing, but she just wasn't in the mood to argue.
"Have you talked to Hakeem recently?" Ammar asked.
"Yesterday actually,"
"He called this morning but you were in class."
"What did he say?" Hanaan questioned.
"He said blood may be thicker than water but you still have to listen to water."
"What?" Hanaan's face scrunched in confusion as she let out a little laugh at how silly the sentence sounded.
"You know, Hakeem is blood, I am water," Ammar explained awkwardly, "Come on Hanaan, its metaphors, you should get it, you're the English genius."
"Wow, ok I am impressed." Hanaan burst out laughing, and then suddenly serious. "Shut up Ammar you are blood too!"
"I meant like real blood not metaphoric."
"Please stop using metaphors they are not your area of expertise," Hanaan laughed.
"No need to rub it in!"
"Listen to you about what?" Hanaan asked.
"What?"
"You said that Hakeem said to listen to you?" Hanaan said,
"Oh right, yes," Ammar said catching on, "How is it that you jump from topics like that?"
"You men simply can't keep up." Hanaan teased.
"You women aren't ruling the world yet so it's safe to say us men are ahead and you need to keep up." Ammar joked.
"Yeah well –" Hanaan started.
"He said you should listen to me about Rasheed."
"Who said?"
"And I thought I needed to keep up!"
"Oh Hakeem," Hanaan understood. "He told me that as well."
"Ok." Ammar said.
"I just don't think staying away will solve anything."
"It won't solve anything." Ammar agreed, "But it will prevent any unnecessary troubles."
"What unnecessary troubles?"
"Hanaan, we – Hakeem and I – know you too well. You're thinking you can help in any possible way, because you're so close to someone who's been so close to the conflict." Ammar started. "The thing is, he has been, and is part of the conflict, he will do anything and everything to save his family and his people. However nice he seems, he does not care about anything – at the moment, but saving his country. If you choose to help, and if you put your mind to it, no one can stop you. Not me, not Hakeem, not your mom, no one. And Hanaan, if you choose to help, Rasheed will see that determination you have, and he will take advantage of it. He won't care about your safety."
"That's an awful lot to say about someone you know so little about. Don't you think your being judgmental?" Hanaan argued.
"I may be. But what if I am right?" Ammar questioned. "Look, I am not saying he is a bad guy. It is a natural instinct to want to save your own at whatever cost. Anyone would do the same if put in that situation, myself included. But is helping him worth putting yourself in danger? Is it worth it with that much at stake?"
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More Than Tomorrow
General Fiction"It was inevitable. It happened so slowly, so imperceptibly, that no one saw it coming. And then... Chaos. Everything I knew, my home, my life, was destroyed right in front of my eyes." Rasheed had it all. A loving family, caring friends, and was on...
